Gentlemen
Are you suffering from the embarrassment of anosmia?
Consider the shame in being unable to identify a pungent cheese, detect the cloying odour of rotting fruit or pinpoint the location of a partially concealed trout. Anyone deprived of such basic social skills runs the risk of being branded a pariah, an outcast or a knob. Can you afford to take that risk?
Well thankfully, you don't have to. Webbley's Patent Electric Aromatron is here to do your smelling for you. Fitting snuggly over the nose, around the ears, over the head and hanging halfway down your back, the Aromatron is virtually undetectable, and its on-board fan-assisted stink pistons are capable of differentiating between five different smells, including liquid paraffin!
"I bought an Aromatron on the advice of my physician. And I'm glad I did! It was only when I strapped it on and fired it up that I realised the drains were backed up."
The Earl of Lancaster
"I was placed in a very difficult situation when Lady Philomena Trussock let one rip at a dinner party I was attending in Kensingon. All eyes were, of course, on me, but thanks to the Aromatron's built-in guff tracking system I was able to prove that although I may have smelt it, I certainly hadn't dealt it."
General Sir George Pottymouth
"I don't usually go in for gadgets. A lot of silly old pish and nonsense, if you ask me. However, since havin' one of these here Aromatron gizmos on approval for the last week, I find that I've been up to me damn epaulettes in buxom young fillies. So tally ho and damn the blasted torpedoes, that's what I say! In fact, I'm now seriously considerin' havin' me back waxed and gettin' a revolving wig."
Bertram 'Fruity' Mountbatten, esq.
Hi! My name's Charles Webbley and 130 years ago my ancestor invented the Aromatron and changed the lives of anosmiacs forever. Today Webbley International Plc is still bringing relief to people with no sense of smell, helping them to live useful, full and aromatic lives.
This year we launch Aromatron Pulse, our smallest and most discreet model yet. Inserted painlessly into the nasal cavity, Aromatron Pulse is the first artificial smelling aid to incorporate true 3D odour detection, multi-band scent differentiation and accelerated whiff-buffering that allows you to store smells and play them back later.
"Oh blimey! The Aromatron Pulse has changed my life. What? Oh yes! I feel confident and assured - finally I can be myself. Briliant. Even my friends have seen the difference in me. You can bet your arse that I wouldn't be without my Aromatron Pulse for anything!"
Bertram 'Fruity' Mountbatten III
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