Scientist Discovers Square Root of Green

In a much anticipated announcement, Dr Rosemary Dulux of the Royal Institute of Mixing it Up in Greenwich revealed that she has finally discovered the square root of the colour green.

Turns out that it's a slightly pallid shade of yellow," she announced yesterday to an eager assembly of shady designers, blushing paint manufacturers and one somewhat gaudy collector of felt tip pen salesmen from Stevenage.

Yellow

This is the culmination of over twenty years' work for Dr Dulux, who hails from a family of celebrated colourologists. Her father championed several new shades of orange in the seventies and her great great uncle invented purple in 1926, despite spending the majority of his life in black and white.

Making green things

This discovery points the way to new improved industrial processes for making green things, but Dr Dulux's work doesn't end there.

"I believe we're only really beginning to understand the mathematical basis for colour," she told us. "What happens when you divide blue by red? Can indigo be expressed to more than four decimal places? And what exactly does minus brown look like?"

Pink is a theoretical impossibility

But the question that Dr Dulux really wants to answer is whether 'pink' is actually a real colour. Pink is a theoretical impossibility because it is not a primary colour itself and cannot be made by mixing other primary colours.

This has led various people to speculate that it's actually the result of complex tones spilling into this plane of existence from a parallel dimension.

Dr Dulux disagrees and believes that if she can find a way of describing it scientifically it will pave the way for the discovery of new exotic colours such as 'burple', 'flistergringe' and 'splink'.

 

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Dragonwatch

New partnership tackles airborne menace

Promo Image

Did Man Really Go to Belgium?

All that stuff you saw at Mission Control was just for show

Promo Image

Post Nuns

Nuns to be installed in post offices.

Promo Image

Fourth Light

A fourth colour on traffic lights

Promo Image

Shave the Moon!

Mankind's fascination with his hirsute neighbour in space

Promo Image

Gentlemen's Etiquette

For men of character

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

22 December 2017: How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

21 December 2017: Evening Classes at The University of the Bleeding Obvious

20 December 2017: A Ding-Dong over Duvets

Copyright © 2016