Munchy Burger

Job Application Form Part B:

Aptitude Test

Thank you for interest in our company. In order for us to assess whether you have the right qualities to join us at Munchy Burger, please complete the following test and return it along with your application.

1. When handling food it is essential to always:

a. Make sure you have recently washed your hands in a solution of nitric acid and cold sick.

b. Stab it repeatedly with a plastic fork to make sure that it's dead.

c. Gob on it out of sight of the customer

2. Food straight from the oven can be hazardous because:

a. It is burny hot ouch ouch

b. It is intrinsically evil

c. It is liable to explode

3. You should never punch a customer in the face because:

a. You might pull a muscle

b. They're probably bigger than you.

c. Because that's the manager's job

4. Why do you think it is important that burgers are served hot?

a. So they will show up on thermal imaging cameras

b. To keep the customers' hands warm

c. Dunno. Probably something to do with global warming.

5. According to official Munchy Burger policy, what is the correct definition of a vegetable?

a. Something they used to eat during the war.

b. Chocolate Muffins

c. Dopey Keith, the lad who mops out the toilets.

6. What do you think is meant by the term 'food safety'?

a. Don't cut yourself on the sharp edges of fries.

b. Putting a cheese burger in a witness protection scheme.

c. Keeping Dopey Keith away from the chicken nuggets.

7. Which of these statements best describes the principal of 'stock rotation'?

a. It's a means of duping the customer into believing food is fresh.

b. It's that revolving thing on the counter that we put the hot apple pies in.

c. Spinning doughnuts.

8. If a customer tried to pay with a Scottish £10 note, would you:

a. Ask to see his passport

b. Say "hoots mon, it's been a It's a braw, bricht, moonlicht nicht", put on a cd of bagpipe music, offer him a piece of shortbread, comment upon the cut of his kilt, polish his tam-o-shanter and earn yourself a smack in the mouth.

c. Thank him very much and give him his change in Monopoly money.

 

Please use this space to tell us why you want to work at Munchy Burger.

...........................................................................

...........................................................................

...........................................................................

 

Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2015

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2015

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The UBO Annual 2020

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2020

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2018

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2017

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2017

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 1

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 1

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 2

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 2

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 3

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 3

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Out and About

Visit the Toast Museum in Stoke-on-Trent!

Promo Image

Out now from Obvious Books

Books what we made up

Promo Image

Pest Control

Mrs Whitney has tigers behind her shed.

Promo Image

Fire Distinguishers

Never be burnt alive by indecision again

Promo Image

Roman Hole

Archaeologists disoover historic hole.

Promo Image

Cock

The magazine for young gentlemen

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

24 August 2020: The Wilderness: A Survivor's Guide

10 August 2020: The Language of Dance

06 July 2020: Introducing the Spellchecker Pen

Copyright © 2015