"Quitzel Knarflop!"
Believe it or not, that's "Good Evening" in Martian! You might wonder how NASA intends to communicate with any alien life forms its probes might encounter as they whizz about the universe. You or I might employ a combination of mime, pointing and angry shouting to make ourselves understood, but NASA linguists have no such trouble.
Using data collected from the James Webb Space telescope, along with specially developed computational algorithms and a complex scientific technique called 'guessing', they have mastered over 4000 alien languages. Now you too can learn to speak alien with The Official NASA Galactic Phrasebook!
Become fluent in Venusian!
"Eeky och nochty wah-wah"
(Can you point me in the direction of the municipal swimming baths?)
Brush up your Jovian!
"Paeneeda torkeeda swimbly bimbly boo."
(You have excellent legs for a government official)
Speak Plutonian with confidence!
"Spume pedals"
(Spume pedals)
All this and more for just £25 or 3000 Galactic Credits.
(Only joking - seriously, it's twenty-five quid)
"Splendido grunty sprunt!"
(Your sister has cheesy knees)
All material Copyright © Paul Farnsworth 2000-2025, and may not be reproduced without the express permission of the author. All characters, companies and organisations are fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental. || Picture Credits: P.Farnsworth/morguefile.com/craiyon.com. || Privacy Notice: this site does not collect, store or otherwise process your personal data. Sorry, but I'm not the slightest bit interested in you.
