"Quitzel Knarflop!"

flying saucer

Believe it or not, that's "Good Evening" in Martian! You might wonder how NASA intends to communicate with any alien life forms its probes might encounter as they whizz about the universe. You or I might employ a combination of mime, pointing and angry shouting to make ourselves understood, but NASA linguists have no such trouble.

Using data collected from the Hubble Space telescope, along with specially developed computational algorithms and a complex scientific technique called 'guessing', they have mastered over 4000 alien languages. Now you too can learn to speak alien with The Official NASA Galactic Phrasebook!

Become fluent in Venusian!

"Eeky och nochty wah-wah"

(Can you point me in the direction of the municipal swimming baths?)

Brush up your Jovian!

"Paeneeda torkeeda swimbly bimbly boo."

(You have excellent legs for a government official)

Speak Plutonian with confidence!

"Spume pedals"

(Spume pedals)

All this and more for just £25 or 3000 Galactic Credits.

(Only joking - seriously, it's twenty-five quid)

"Splendido grunty sprunt!"

(Your sister has cheesy knees)

 

Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2015

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2015

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
InstagramFacebookTwitter
I've always thought that the best way of staying alive is 'not to die'.
Royal Navy tries to get refund on submarine.
The latest celebrity craze.
Theft of town exposed as a hoax.
Raw Unadulterated Jazz
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Operation Growbag
'Bigger, Better, Faster, Now!'
Most commercially available printers have an inbuilt fear of paper.
The latest local information
'Sadly, not everyone can handle themselves as well as I can'

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

13 June 2022: The Sandwich: #365

12 June 2022: The Sandwich: #364

11 June 2022: The Sandwich: #363

Copyright © 2015