"Quitzel Knarflop!"

Believe it or not, that's "Good Evening" in Martian! You might wonder how NASA intends to communicate with any alien life forms its probes might encounter as they whizz about the universe. You or I might employ a combination of mime, pointing and angry shouting to make ourselves understood, but NASA linguists have no such trouble.

Using data collected from the Hubble Space telescope, along with specially developed computational algorithms and a complex scientific technique called 'guessing', they have mastered over 4000 alien languages. Now you too can learn to speak alien with The Official NASA Galactic Phrasebook!

Become fluent in Venusian!

"Eeky och nochty wah-wah"

(Can you point me in the direction of the municipal swimming baths?)

Brush up your Jovian!

"Paeneeda torkeeda swimbly bimbly boo."

(You have excellent legs for a government official)

Speak Plutonian with confidence!

"Spume pedals"

(Spume pedals)

All this and more for just £25 or 3000 Galactic Credits.

(Only joking - seriously, it's twenty-five quid)

"Splendido grunty sprunt!"

(Your sister has cheesy knees)

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015The UBO Annual 2016The History of RockThe Bongo LecturesKicking and ScreamingDead PeasantsRecalled to LifeUBO Volume 1UBO Volume 2Death Doom and DisasterGoldilocks and the Free Bears

Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Out now from Obvious Books

Books what we made up

Promo Image

Cold Fusion Sandwiches

A breakthrough for nuclear powered lunches

Promo Image

Shampoo

Buy it. Now.

Promo Image

Fourth Light

A fourth colour on traffic lights

Promo Image

Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery

Modified pets for all occasions

Promo Image

Bristletech

Quality Beards for the modern gent

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

21 March 2017: Hypnotic Wipes to Tackle Information Leakage

16 March 2017: Space Junk

14 March 2017: Ladder Ordeal Enters Sixteenth Hour