In the market for a used policeman?

WAIT!

divider

 

That second-hand constable could be stolen. Thefts of policemen are on the increase as criminals target serving officers to sell on the black market.

Police forces in the UK periodically sell off surplus policemen, but only through authorised outlets. That way they can ensure that all officers offered to the public are fully tested and compliant with current regulations.

If you should find a policeman being sold at a market, second-hand shop or car boot sale, the chances are that it's faulty, dangerous or bent. It might not even be a policeman at all, merely a reconditioned traffic warden or two car park attendants welded together.

 

divider

So, if you're looking to purchase a cheap second-hand policeman, make sure you choose a retailer displaying the Copwatch sign.

 

Copwatch

Your Guarantee of a Quality Copper

PC Billy Columbo

 

PC Billy Columbo presents...

How to Spot a Ringer

'Evening all. Your average criminal is a shifty fellow and he has all sorts of tricks to hoodwink you, the unsuspecting consumb... cucumber... consumer, into parting with your hard-earned lolly. But if you stay sharp you can spot these three tell-tale signs that mark out a real constable from a ropey old bit of tat.

1. Always check the truncheon is intact. UK law prohibits the sale of policemen without a functioning truncheon. No truncheon, no sale.

2. Examine the helmet for cracks. Most policemen's helmets will have scratches or scuffs - this is normal wear and tear. However, cracks, splits or significant deformations could indicate that the officer has been in a serious accident and could be a write off.

3. Ask him the time. Everyone knows that if you want to know the time you should ask a policeman, as they are all calibrated to Greenwich Mean Time. Failing this simple test could indicate that the officer is a fake, or his battery is flat.

Finally, if you have recently bought a second-hand policeman and you think there may be something amiss, you can take it along to your local nick where the desk sergeant will look in its special secret place for its registration number.

 

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015 The UBO Annual 2016 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Nobel Flap Award

Challenging work in the field of flap design.

Promo Image

Emergency Kebabs

Acclaim for new venture.

Promo Image

Excitement at discovery of Big-Eared Dinosaur

Yes sir, a good pair of ears is about the most useful thing that you could possibly have in the animal kingdom.

Promo Image

The Detangulator

Unlocking the hidden power of tangled wires.

Promo Image

Jars-4-u

We open your jars for you!

Promo Image

Hollywood Sandwiches

Sarnies of the rich and famous

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

04 September 2017: Fraudulent Bananas

02 September 2017: Orchestra Exchange

01 September 2017: Mr Forage and His Newts