Eradicate the Embarrassment
of Squeaky Shoes with

Squeak Off

Top spies know that when you're sneaking up behind an enemy agent, positioning yourself to deliver the fatal karate chop that will guarantee the future security of the free world, the last thing you want is a stray squeak or creak to give away your position.

That's why 9 out of 10 Super Secret National Intelligence Agencies use Squeak Off.

Squeak Off's revolutionary anti-squeak technology penetrates deep into noisy footwear, soothing, caressing and nourishing the material to leave your shoes not only squeakless but also free from dandruff.

Squeak Off is guaranteed to work on a variety of materials and fabrics, including:

  • Leather
  • Suede
  • Plastic
  • Bacon*
  • Canvas

And Squeak Off is not just a boon for intelligence men - it has proven useful for people in all walks of life, including hitmen, fishermen, mime artists, cinema usherettes, librarians and tax inspectors.

So next time you need to sneak up on someone and wrestle them to the ground before they have time to raise the alarm, give Squeak Off a go.

Squeak Off

The Big Noise in Footwear Technology

*As far as we're aware, no one has yet invented bacon shoes, but when they do we'll be ready.

 

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Cut Price Chips

You like chips. You like lots of chips.

Promo Image

Hear and Now

Two Bongs from a Gong and Three quick ding-dongs in the night

Promo Image

Sounds of Nature

Relax with Chickens

Promo Image

Animals

Better adapted to eating chips

Promo Image

An Evening with Barry Smith

Shepton Bassett's number one coach driver.

Promo Image

Highway Robbery

Have you seen these stolen roads?

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

22 December 2017: How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

21 December 2017: Evening Classes at The University of the Bleeding Obvious

20 December 2017: A Ding-Dong over Duvets

Copyright © 2015