Dr Adolphous Bongo

The Adventures of Nick Farrow: Ninja Doctor

It's not just disease he fights...

Ninja Doctor

As well as being a highly respected physician, Dr Bongo has also found time to establish himself as an accomplished author.  His series of acclaimed thrillers featuring Nick Farrow, the Ninja Doctor, has just reached its seventh instalment, and is still going strong.  Loosely based on himself, Dr Bongo's crime fighting hero is a regular GP by day, but becomes the mysterious Ninja Doctor by night.  Using his special Ninja powers and years of intensive medical training, Nick Farrow rids the streets of crime, ensures ordinary folk can sleep soundly in their beds, and writes sick notes on demand.

Critical List Speculum of Doom DeathPractice
Dead on Arrival Fatal Spleen Prescription For Murder


An unrivalled storehouse of knowledge...

As well as being a highly respected and accomplished writer of fiction, Dr Adolphous Bongo has also found time to be a part time doctor.  In this capacity he has produced a number of medical and psychological texts, which have been extraordinarily well received both in medical circles and amongst members of the general public.  Whilst these volumes have not enjoyed the same dizzying success as his Nick Farrow books, Dr Bongo nevertheless sees it as a professional obligation to share his unrivalled storehouse of knowledge and personal experience with the world.  Not only that, but the vastly inflated cover prices make it well worth the effort.

Pull Yourself Together You Big Jessie

Feeling low?  Has life lost its sparkle?  Depression is a terrible thing, but Dr Bongo has the answer.  Unlike other self-help guides, Pull Yourself Together, You Big Jessie! doesn't pull any punches.  Using his patented new 'slap therapy' the doctor helps his patients to understand that the world is a bitch, life is hell and you may just as well keep your head down and get on with it.

Arse Bandits

Written in conjunction with the celebrated proctologist Sir Cardew 'Fatty' Robinson, Arse Bandits details the fascinating work done by the Metropolitan Police Forensic Bottom Team, who regularly probe the murky underworld of London's gangland.  A stray hair here, a cheek print there, even the faintest lingering whiff of a trump at a crime scene - it's all evidence which can add up to a lengthy stretch in the slammer for some of the country's most notorious criminals.

You Must Be Fucking Nuts Mate

Dr Bongo's highly acclaimed and sympathetic study of mental disorder is now rightly regarded as a seminal work on the subject.    As long ago as 1972, when this book was first written, Dr Bongo foresaw a time when mentalists, freaks and loonies would no longer be shunned by society, but fulfil useful, positive roles - such as working in fast food outlets, handing out leaflets and propping open doors.  Now we're quite used to seeing nutters in our supermarkets, restaurants and governments, but it's worth remembering that forty years ago, such ideas were revolutionary.  This revised edition contains an additional chapter about spoon feeding.


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Copyright © Paul Farnsworth 2005

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