Feeling low?  Has life lost its sparkle?  Depression is a terrible thing, but Dr Bongo has the answer.  Unlike other self-help guides, Pull Yourself Together, You Big Jessie! doesn't pull any punches.  Using his patented new 'slap therapy' the doctor helps his patients to understand that the world is a bitch, life is hell and you may just as well keep your head down and get on with it.

Written in conjunction with the celebrated proctologist Sir Cardew 'Fatty' Robinson, Arse Bandits details the fascinating work done by the Metropolitan Police Forensic Bottom Team, who regularly probe the murky underworld of London's gangland.  A stray hair here, a cheek print there, even the faintest lingering whiff of a trump at a crime scene - it's all evidence which can add up to a lengthy stretch in the slammer for some of the country's most notorious criminals.

Dr Bongo's highly acclaimed and sympathetic study of mental disorder is now rightly regarded as a seminal work on the subject.    As long ago as 1972, when this book was first written, Dr Bongo foresaw a time when mentalists, freaks and loonies would no longer be shunned by society, but fulfil useful, positive roles - such as working in fast food outlets, handing out leaflets and propping open doors.  Now we're quite used to seeing nutters in our supermarkets, restaurants and governments, but it's worth remembering that forty years ago, such ideas were revolutionary.  This revised edition contains an additional chapter about spoon feeding.