Scrufty's Magic
Juju Shoppe

 

At Scrufty's Magic Juju shoppe you could get whizzy fizz bombs, and liquorice danglers and all sorts of wonderful sugary flopsicles. And sticky pillows and sherbet bubbles too - but this wasn't why most people went to Scrufty's Magic Juju shoppe. Oh no. People went because Scrufty was the wisest old badger in all the forest and whenever you had a problem, Scrufty would have the answer.

Scrufty's shop

At Scrufty's Magic Juju Shoppe you could get sugary flopsicles.

That's why Marty Fuzztail went. Marty had a problem, a big big problem. You see, every year, when the conkers fell, all the forest folk would hurry and scurry about the undergrowth to gather them all up and store them for winter in a big old hopper. And as everyone knew that Marty owned the biggest and bestest conker tree of all, he was put in charge of distributing the conkers to whoever needed them.

So when Moley needed conkers to shore up the embankment after the spring thaw, he would trundle his little wheelbarrow along to the hopper, Marty would pull the chain and with a chugga-chugga-chugga the conkers would rumble down the chute and fill his little barrow. And when the Hedgehog twins needed conkers to clear the path by the meadow, Marty would pull the chain and with a chugga-chugga-chugga, the conkers would tumble down the chute and fill their buckets. And when Mrs Gander needed to repair the fences around the duck pond, or Yappy Woofworth wanted to gather up the dewdrop harvest, or Flaps Feathertop had to clean up the leaf moss in the dell, all Marty had to do was pull the chain and with a chugga-chugga-chugga they would have all the conkers that they needed.

Slippy Wriggleton

Slippy had a certificate in conker management.

But that was all before Slippy Wriggleton came along. Slippy was the leader of the weasels, and he told Marty that he was going about it all wrong. Through a combination of better management, more efficient allocation and careful investment, Slippy said that they could meet all their regular conker requirements, and still have a surplus at the end of the year. Well, Slippy was very persuasive, and he also had a certificate in Conker Management, which none of the other forest folk did, so Marty agreed to let him handle the conker distribution.

And that's where it all started to go wrong, because after a while it seemed that there weren't enough conkers to go round. Oh, there were plenty of conkers for Slippy's friends - the weasels, the slimy toads and the crafty foxes - but the rest of the forest folk had to go without. So the embankment crumbled after the thaw. The path by the meadow became impassable. The fences around the duck pond rotted away, the dewdrops turned sour before they could be harvested and the leaf moss was left to fester in the dell.

 

 

Peanuts You Don't Have To Be Mad To Work Here Machiavelli Management Solutions The Bleeding Obvious Exploding Dogs Baby's First Swear Scrufty's Magin Juju Shoppe Pigmongering Empire of the Flowers Scumm Credit Services Mrs Wilberforce and the River Persons Unknown
The UBO Annual 2018

The UBO Annual 2020

Coming Soon

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Motorcyle Display Teams

Standard International Formations

Promo Image

Global Moistening

What to do with a wet planet

Promo Image

Fraudulent Bananas

Some of these bananas are bent

Promo Image

Dr Bongo's Self-Diagnosis

Diagnose your problem with this online tool, you diseased wretch

Promo Image

Copwatch

Are you in the market for a used policeman?

Promo Image

Out now from Obvious Records

Records what we made up

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

15 November 2019: Twatism

12 November 2019: It's All in the Game

08 November 2019: The F1 Thing