Shit!  Shit!  Shit!   Shit!  Okay, okay, don't panic.  We can sort this out.  Look, just try to stay calm.  I know you're having trouble breathing - that's only to be expected under the circumstances - but panicking isn't going to help.  Right, err...   Yes!  This is going to work, trust me.  What you need is a table and a chair - come on, come on, a table and a chair, it can't be all that difficult, you freaking moron!  All right, I'm sorry - I'm getting a little overwrought, and I apologise.  Right, so you've got the chair.  I want you to sit in it with your back to the table and tilt it backwards so you're on the point of overbalancing.  The idea here is that as you fall backwards, the back of your head will strike the edge of the table, thus dislodging both monitor and screwdriver.  Yes, yes, yes, don't shout at me like that!  I didn't say it wouldn't hurt, but it's better than nothing.   Trust me, we did this sort of thing all the time when I was medical school.
Okay, so after three: one... two... three...