The Johannesburg Hair Bank

Baldness is a worry for many men once they reach a certain age, triggering a desperate compulsion to try and preserve what little hair remains by whatever means necessary. And it's understandable. Baldness can make many men feel self-conscious and embarrassed. It can also make their heads more susceptible to water damage during heavy rain, and they are unable to wear hats because they slip off. And, of course, it doesn't help when random strangers in the street point and shout things like 'Baldy Baldy Slaphead' before running away. On reflection, perhaps I should stop doing that.

So baldness is a problem. If only there was some way to save up all the hair that grows so copiously in your youth, and use it again in your later years. Well now a company in South Africa enables you to do just that. The Johannesburg Hair Bank allows you to open an account when you're young, energetic and hirsute, from which you can make withdrawals when you're old, knackered and bald. The more you save, the longer your hair will be. Not only that, but your hair will also earn interest, tax-free.

At present the bank is not accepting new customers, but that is set to change soon and interested parties will be able to open an account with just a few clippings. For more information, write to:

The Johannesburg Hair Bank
Next to the Toenail Depository
Near the State Dandruff Library
Just Behind the Snot Emporium
Johannesburg
South Africa