Archive 3

Inside the Nun Factory

"Like myself, you were probably under the impression that nuns grew on trees..."

• Inside the Nun Factory: How it Works
• The Obvious Guide to Standard British Nuns
• Bad Stuff

The Bubble Bloke

"He coughs up something unpleasant and hides it beneath his beer mat..."

There and Back Again by Elastic

"Our sympathies to Rodney Tarzan after failing in his attempt to go around the world on elastic..."

Fish Olympics

"It is with regret that we have to report that the XII Fish Olympiad has been abandoned..."

Yeti Makeover

"The ladies of Melton Mowbray Rotary Club decided to track down a yeti and give it a makeover..."

Piffin: A Mediterranean Paradise

"Our roving travel writer Roly Coconut visits this increasingly popular holiday destination, and wishes he hadn't..."

The Sandwich Advisor

"The National Sandwich Hotline offers personal lunchtime help in the shape of a professional sandwich advisor..."

• Sandwich Chart

Springboard to the Stars

"Conventional science might yet provide a means for us to explore the galaxy, if Project Pogo is given the go ahead..."

Tap Dancing Across the Sahara

"A celebration of spectacular failure..."

• Freddie Simpson: A Life Less Ordinary

What Do Your Keys Say About You?

"The secret to good fortune, wealth and wisdom may be found in the palm of your hand..."

Anthony Bulbous Spock's Wine Guide

"Six of the best wines to perfectly compliment your game birds..."

Lobster Facts

with Derek the Fact Crab

A Very Local Paper

"Mr Droop's thirst for news has led to him becoming disillusioned with the Evening Observer..."

Cold Fusion Sandwiches

"Edward Smiley has invented the world's first cold fusion sandwich..."

Skippy's Opera

"Using sound as a weapon is something that has been considered feasible for many years..."

An Important Announcement About Fish

"Not many of us would credit the average salmon with advanced problem-solving abilities..."

Quickfire Questions

"We quiz a famous celebrity for a minute ..."

Sir Barnaby Tonk Shines a Light

"Every lamppost that lines our highways and byways is grown from seed..."

Cake Rage

"Many criminals already have access to semi-automatic pastry..."

Barney's Magic Wonder Show

"Belinda Sommers reviews Barney's Magic Number Show..."

Official Apologies

"We went to interview the NHS's new Head of Official Apologies...."

Unconventional Weapons

"There are numerous stories of America employing itching powder in Vietnam...."

Grand Theft Equine

"The increasing desirability of the horse has presented a new target for teenage joyriders..."

My Favourite Nuts

"We invite famous stars of stage and screen to tell us about some of their favourite nuts..."

Drive-By Wallpapering

"A spate of drive-by wallpaperings has resulted in several public buildings being seriously redecorated..."

The Man Who Invented Sitting Down

"Life must have been very hard in the days before sitting down was invented..."

Appliances

"Wilful and deliberate attempts of household appliances to cause harm to humankind..."

Transatlantic Gardening

"A friend bet him that he couldn't sail across the Atlantic Ocean in his own garden..."

Marmaduke Irksome: A Retrospective

"For thirty years Marmaduke Irksome talked crap in the House of Commons as the MP for Pontefract West...."

A Tall Order

"We were pleased to have an opportunity to speak to top advertising guru Christian Pyle..."