It's a Fact
Fun facts from the Fact Master. Fank you.
St Tiddles in the Font
Parish newsletter.
Out and About
The International Toast Museum and other attractions.
10 Things You Never Knew About Frogs
Frogtastic Facts
Jehovah's Cleaners
Because cleanliness is nexr to godliness.
Mr & Mrs Pottle are Lost Again
Why can't these people just stay at home?
Machiavelli Management Solutions
Discipline over distance.
Welcome to Stick World
If you like sticks, well, we've got sticks.
Local Heroes
Outstanding achievements in the field of vandalism.
The Battersea Wigs Home
We never put a healthy wig down.
Mr Gammon's Objections
Shepton Bassett Council Responds
Historic Knees
Knees of outstanding natural beauty.
Twenty-First Century Scouting
A woggle for the new miilenium.
Fleegle
New number has consequences for the future of the universe. And bingo.
Arty Tomatoes
Guy Pakker's latest artistic venture.
Shepton Bassett - A Vision for the Future
Better late than never, our town plan.
Words of wisdom from our resident medic
...Tigers ...Moles ...Farm Machinery ...Hypnotism ...Fruit ...Soap ...Implants ...Pianos ...Happy Clappers ...The Environment
Evening Courses
Pseudo-academic subjects and frivolous arts and crafts courses.
Yeti Makeover
Mrs Stenchtrouser is planning an expedition.
We're No Longer Recruiting...
...but here are some of the unlucky applicants
Squeak Off
The big noise in footwear technology.
Bristletech Industries
Do you need to grow a beard? Fast?
Caught by the Fuzz
New Recruitment Initiatives within the UK Police Force.
Quality Service at Pooley's
With our motoring correspondent, Martin Carburetor.
Metal Detecting
German U-Boat Found on Devon Beach.
Kicking Up a New Stink
Breakthrough leads to discovery of new smell.
Maisy Donnington's Office Safety
How to avoid the business end of a stapler.
Galactic Phrasebook
Learn to speak Venusian!
Optimum Leaning Angles
How to look cool and interesting at an angle.
Typists of the Kalahari
Shorthand tigers and double entry hippos.
Jars-4-u
Get your jars opened by a professional jar opener!
The Language of Dance
Jazz hands and quickstep.
Food Banking
MPs praise growing industry.
Carter-Pierrepoint
Particulate mapping of key delivery nodes.
Greygolds Residential Care Home
Where quality care costs extra.
Night of the Womble
Unpublished Womble book is dystopian nightmare.
Death By Pastry
A huge pie just hanging in space.
Space Things
The continuing adventures of Astro Cat.
The Bleeding Obvious
You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
Glen Twerk is not at Work
Caveat emptor, quo vadis.
Fatquake
A sad farewell to the world's fatest man.
Global Moistening
Fear of a wet planet.
Hear and Now
For collectors of rare and unusual sounds.
Munchy Burger
Can you cut the mustard as a top burger executive?
Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg
A bouncy little freak.
Product Recall
Some of our biscuits may contain canoes.
Have you got what it takes to stay in the country?
Be a great Briton. Or get out.
The Unusual Suspects
A message from Det. Insp. Barker Harris.
The Trivial Accident Group
Have you been slightly inconvenienced at work?
What's On in Lower Bumpstead
A packed programme, following that unfortunate incident with the fire eater.
Songs of Inspiration
Jesus Wants Me For His Darts Team.
Drive-by Wallpapering
Delinquent decorating.
Topping Talent
Featuring the Marvellous Undersea Kingdom of Colin Chocolate.
Introducing Flying Squirrels
Flying into the side of a house at forty knots...
Professional Scarer
GRRRRRR! AAAAARRRRGH! GRRRR!
Award for Outstanding Celebrity
New awards for old has-beens
Flexi Mortem
The only credit card you can use after death.
Are you ready for Digital Ornithology?
Analogue birds are about to be switched off.
Tax, What Tax?
Sir John Wyndrell has never heard of his own company.
No Offence
The Right Honourable David McGog unapologetically apologises.
Piffin: A Mediterranean Paradise
Boasting Europe's biggest landfill.
Tripping the Dark Fantastic
Hello darkness my old friend
Not Funny
Prof Jez Moonbeam is laughable.
A Very Local Paper
All the news that's local to Mr Henry Droop, Littlehampton.
Comfy Dinners
A meal fit for a bed.
British Gas
Sending foreign gas back home.
The Drivelling
Troubled Hammer film gets new release.
The Devil's Arse On Tour
Famous cavern to tour country
Scoop!
Local frog trapped in drain.
Traffic Watch
Heavy vibes are causing delays on the A52.
Sugar Free Vegan Diesel
There's no butter in it either.
Announcing the iSpong
Totally changing the way that people spong in the future.
Neighbor Nightmares: The Movie
Two men, one drive, no prisoners.
Christopher Columbus Discoveries Inc
If you've lost it, Chris will find it.
World of the Wacky
With the Amazing Mr Ooluv
Know Your Birds
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Modern Day Bird Warfare
Dream Strides
Emergency trousers delivered direct to your anxiety nightmare.
Marmaduke Irksome: A Retrospective
Talking crap in the House of Commons.
The Square Root of Green
Fresh breakthrough in the science of colourology.
Ant Facts
with Donald Fact.
Mind Your Wind
Issued by the Ministry of Gas, 1942.
Slugbond
Because an inflated slug is a happy slug.
Baby's First Swear
Teach your little angel to swear like a trooper.
Moroccan Dancing Moles
David Attenburger's Wonderful World of Nature.
Sofas are From Mars...
The race to put the first sofa on Mars.
Criminal Offence Self-Assessment Form
Tick the box if you're a wrong 'un.
Something Happened on Tuesday
Probably, but we're not sure what.
Some People You've Never Heard Of
Rancid Alan Grease and others.
Poot
Bigger, Better, Faster, Now!
The Wackiest Person in the UK
Alison Perkins is a mad as a fish.
Oven Chimps
With none of the greasy aftertaste of regular monkeys.
Nuclear Garden
Mr Sideboard is not happy about his exploding shed.
The Beaufort Scale
Slight wafts and uninvited pumps.
Short and Curly
Unlocking the power of curly hair.
Exploding Dinners
Put the fun back into dinner time.
Shark Fishing
Fergus Pong has a shark problem.
Pretty Pictures
Better management through crayons.
Barney's Magic Wonder Show
Belinda Sommers reviews the latest production.
Persons Unknown
Mr Frampton is looking for somoeone to blame.
Forward to the '80s
How we'll all be travelling in the '80s.
SciFi Fan Draws a Blank
Publisher leaves pages blank to cut costs.
Wind Tunnel Technician
Pardon?
Digital Vicars
The secret ways that vicars communicate?
The Discovery of Vitamin G
Great moments in science.
The National Key Museum!
We've got keys!
The Sandwich Advisor
Buying a sandwich is the third most stressful thing you can do.
Things Fall Over All the Time
Arthur's train only has wheels on one side.
Core Competencies in Office Furniture
Sign up for a certificate in filing cabinets.
Auras by Post?
Spruce up your chakras
Puzzle Page!
With the amazing Mr Ooluv.
Linguini!
Learn to speak fluent pasta.
A Sustained Corporate Battering
We're concerned about Mr Pyle
Man Blames ESA for Domestic Eclipse
Mr Cravat is not happy about where they park their stuff.
History in Focus
An elbow shaker and a lickspittling mumblecrust
The Embarrasment of Nasal Hair Loss
Nostril wigs for all occasions
Rod Stewart and Enya's Rock 'n' Roll Mysteries
Solving crimes and fighting bad guys.
Cash for Pets
Trade in your unwanted dog.
What Is It?
How what why when who where and when? Hello?
An Old Fart Remembers
Do you remember Puthering Day?
Butterfly
Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory
Petty Complaints Ombudsman
Giving your batshit insade complaints the respect they deserve.
Is Your Tortoise Roadworthy?
Important news from the Ministry of Tortoises.
Dilbert's Donkey Solutions
Professional donkey storage.
Gin!
Gin, gin and more gin!
A Fistful of Sausages
Brought to you by the meat marketing board.
Motorcycle Display Teams
A bunch of blokes twatting about on bikes.
Your Staff Feedback, Your Way
Tired of hearing from ungrateful and misguided staff?
Emergency Kebabs
When you absolutely positively need a kebab.
Cheese Genome Finally Cracked!
Scientific proof of the existence of cheese.
Ricky Stratocaster's History of Rock
Travel News
Cowboys on the line and bricked up tunnels,
Skydiving
Skydiving without the unnecessary inconvenience of a parachute.
Rob Hammond's Essential Guide to Buddhism
Rob Hammond will give you a spiritual kicking,
Help a Pirate in Need
These buccaneers desperately need your support.
Staff Handbook
A handy guide to your new workplace.
Sounds of Nature
Relax with chickens.
Well Stuffed
Rogue taxidermist terrorises family pets.
Mr Bannerman's Evidence
Courtroom confusion.
Lillywhite Lenny
On the importance of staying on the fecking horse.
Echo...Echo
Mr Clutterbuck has an echo... echo... echo.
The Fish Olympics
Piscine polevaulting and haddock hurdles.
New Rights for Fictional Characters
It's no longer ok to call Oliver Twist a twat.
Mrs Womble writes...
Fats Porker - Blues Whinger
In memory of Crappsville's finest son.
Pigchums
Meet likeminded pigs in your area!
Noblock and Kerfanderbuck
All smileytangled cockrock strop.
Brick II
Recycling the rubble.
Old Clothes
Trading Standards warn against dangerously out of date clobber.
New Deposits of Earwax Discovered
Significant quantities discovered in Mr Harry Frome
Ralph Trundle: F1 Driver
We talk to a legend of the circuit
How To Be Sweary
with Professor Timothy Bottom.
Fraudulent Bananas
Phony fruit.
Octo-Fever
Are you allergic to octopuses?
Whose Legs Are These?
The gameshow for all the family
Eazee-post
Taking the pain out of internet forums.
Veg-U-Like
Tomatoes, cauliflower, brussel sprouts and peas - collect the whole set.
Did Man Really Go To Belgium?
The dark truth behind the Belgian conspiracy
International Arse Kicking
Bottom kicking for fun and profit.
Maxi-Lingual for Motorists
Curse fluently in over six languages.
Pigmongering
Fergus Pong introduces us to this dying art.
A Career in Printing
Why not specialise in the colour green?
Bad Grandma Grammar
The inappropriate erection of words.
Gerald de Scooter's Restaurant Guide
Top notch swanky grub,
Some more stupid than others.
Barry Buys a Broom
Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor
Board Meeting
The Day Before Tomnorrow
Tall Story in a Short Glass
The Hedgehog King
The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man
Venus by Catapult
You Again
Death, Doom and Disaster
Goldilocks and the Free Bears
'Ello 'Ello 'Ello, What's All This Then?
Presenting The Metropolitan Police Choir.
Rationalising Britain's River Network
Britain's waterways need straightening,
Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery
Save cash - fix your own pets in the comfort of your own home.
Buy Our Shampoo
Just buy it, ok.
Selling Crap for Fun and Profit
The very best in useless tat.
Jazz Bomb
Raw unadulterated jazz.
Crystal N.R.G.
Harnessing the mystical bollocks of the universe.
Maisy Donnington's Cheese Etiquette Page
Your guide to the wonderful world of cheese.
Pooley's Fire Distinguisher
Put paid to that firey bullshit.
Bing Crosby Boxing
Punching singers in the mouth.
One-Sided Dice
One-Sided Dice for Fatalists.
Fine Dining
with Woodroffe Spanker
Buttock Express
Your arse in our hands.
Extreme Dinosaurs
Skateboarding plesiosaurs, rollerblading raptors and a brontosaurus with a space hopper.
Inside the Nun Factory
Where do nuns come from?
Dark Batter
Is the missing mass in the Universe actually pastry?
Scrufty's Magic Juju Shoppe
A tale of oconker mismanagement.
The Aromatron
A whole new world of smells awaits you.
How to Look After Your Cement Mixer
A great addition to any home.
Thinking of Buying an Octopus?
How to look after your squishy friend.
Blood Donors Needed
Please bleed into the envelope provided.
Cooker Island
Where the toasters roam free.
In the market for a used policeman?
How to spot a dodgy copper.
Doing the Lord's Work
Vicars on the job.
Tony Fold's Country Rambles
with guest rambler, Rory Triffic.
Bare-knuckle Snooker
The biggest threat to law and order since badminton
Spread the Good Word!
Your chance to buy shares in the Salvation Army!
Jaggedy
Mrs Lubricant wants a tidiery Britain.
It's All in the Game
Classic board games from the past.
Centuri Space Supplies
Second hand space travel
Donald Fact's Fact Breakers
Remembering the classic '70s kids' show.
Cock
The magazine for young gentlemen.
Donald Fact's Fact Blast
It's a Fact, brought to you by Crunchy Flakes.
So You've Got a New Manager?
How to stop it crapping in your in tray.
National Consumer Instructions Awards
Confusing, badly translated or just plain weird.
Cut Price Chips
You like chips? You like lots of chips?
The Ultimate Procrastination Suite
Just been handed a project but can't be bothered to get started?
Dougal Fridgely
Possible dwarf planet discovered in Tadcaster
Happismiles Emergency Clown Service
For when your regular clown lets you down.
The Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment
Get your wonky flappers straightened here
The Delusion of J Henry Proudfoot
We meet an alien archaeologist.
Operation Mutton
The millitary applications of sheep during WWII.
Punctuation Crisis
We're running out of apostrophes.
Stuff Your Bleeding Job
How to resign digracefully.
Cosmic Background Apathy
Will the universe keep expanding until it can't be bothered anymore?
The Horse-Drawn Record Player
Equestrian technology.
The Prime Time Gameshow Generator
As used by TV executives worldwide.
Grampion Strangely's Mountain Rescue
These vulnderable mountains need your help.
Debt Matters
Making you aware of your debt.
Gentlemen's Etiquette
How to behave right proper and all that.
Spooky Doings
The magazine of weird and improbable stuff.
The Thoroughfare of Success
Dick Smidgen teaches you how to live your life but better.
Art
Selwyn Peach paints Elephants
Here Comes Barry Smith
Wise words from Shepton Bassett's number one coach driver.
Harry Carson is Watching You
It's a man's life as a modern store detective.
How Long is a Piece of String?
The hit gameshow for all the family.
An Open Letter to Shepton Bassett Park & Zoo
Sorry about your monkeys.
Cake Rage
Pastry related assaults.
Astralguard
Insurance for Astral Travellers.
Shave the Moon
Our hairy satellite.
The Great Space Exhibition
Glorious innovations and technical marvels!
An Important Announcement about Fish
Clever trout and erudite pilcards.
Wisbech
Theft of town exposed as hoax.
Empire of the Flowers
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Operation Growbag.
Maisy Donnington's Guide to Perking Yourself Up
Turn that frown upside down.
The Kidderminster Lemon Exchange
Open now for faster, more reliable lemon exchange.
Why Your Printer Doesn't Work
Most of these devices are allergic to paper.
Dobbins of Doncaster
Get yourself a quality ass.
World of Holes
Europe's leading stockist of quality holes.
No More Glasses!
Fry sausages with just a wink of the eye.
The World Bullshit Record
Team bonding, goal setting and table top brainstorming
Cold Fusion Sandwiches
A new era in atomic lunches.
Bean Legacy
This summer, Christian Bale is Mr Bean.
Petunia Mulch
Plant psychologist.
So Special
Special beauty therapies for very special people.
Amateur Stamp Collector Collector
Want to know how much to pay for a Nigel Tomlinson?
The Long Range Trouser Forecast
Overnight corduroys and occasional dungarees.
Diagnosis
Professor Wimple has a dirty mouth.
Brixham Trouser Museum
The UK 's premier trouser experience.
A Ding-Dong Duvets
Prof Reynaud pulls a fast one.
The Wonderful World of Ants
Ants, ants, ants, ants!
For Kids of All Ages...
Introducing our new range of children's books.
Anti-Assertiveness Classes
Tone it down a bit.
The Alternative Olympics
Speed swingball and dodgem rallying.
It's a Fact!
More facts from the Funky Fact Feller.
Top Twenty Albums of the '70s
With Ricky Stratocaster, professor of twangology.
Feathered Friends
Could you befriend a lonely parrot?
Knitting in Colour
This day in 1956 saw the introduction of the first regular colour knitting patterns.
The Shepton Bassett Village Fete
In aid of the St Tiddles in the Font Restoration Fund.
Doing Lengths
Mr Zing is swimming from pole to pole
Teaching Carrots to Fly
The cutting edge of vegetable warfare.
Barry the Road Safety Owl
No nonsense advice from a wise old bird
Cosmos Rocks
In an infinite universe, there is no limit to human gullibility.
Dolby Noise Reduction Sausages
Cut out the hiss next breakfast time.
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