Archive 1

February 2001
- July 2003

Did Man Really Go To Belgium?

"As long as man can remember he has dreamed of travelling to Belgium..."

Maisy Donnington's Cheese Etiquette Page

"Your guide to the wonderful world of cheese..."


Random Kevin

"...abuse and ridicule in the comfort and privacy of your own home..."

Typists of the Kalahari

"The elephant can type at speeds in excess of 120 words per minute..."

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Animals
Arty Tomatoes
Sandals
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blog

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News


Library

In a poll carried out by officials at Worcester Public Library, residents were sent a brief questionnaire, asking them just what they expected from the local library. "The aim of this project was ultimately to improve our service to the community," said chief book wrangler, Dominic DeMaurier. "It's all part of a new initiative to tailor the library to the needs of local people."

Sadly, response to the survey was not enthusiastic and the only suggestion that library staff received was that all the chairs and tables ought to be removed and replaced with trampolines. Despite the fact that the suggestion was most probably meant as a joke, the library has nevertheless acted upon it and work to install the new trampolines has just been completed. By and large, the move has not been particularly well received by the majority of the library's patrons. Many people have complained that having people leaping about all over the place has destroyed the traditional calm and studious atmosphere of the library. And on three separate occasions the emergency services have been called out after people were struck by flying books. However, Miss Edna Potter, aged 90, has been a regular at Worcester library ever since she moved into the area thirty years ago, and she for one has welcomed the new trampolines.

"I think they're a marvellous idea," she told us, beaming happily. "I've always thought the library was a really dull place, and these things have livened it up a real treat. Plus, for the first time in my life, I am able to reach all the dirty books on the top shelf."


Links

Aug 2003 -
Jan 2006

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Diagnosis

"Welcome to today's edition of Diagnosis..."


Dobbins of Doncaster

"Quality Donkeys for Hire or Purchase..."

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10 Things You Never Knew About Frogs

"Frogs can jump ten times their own bodyweight..."

Gentlemen's Etiquette

"A gentleman never fouls himself upwind of a waitress..."

Death Doom and Disaster
Goldilocks and the Free Bears
Tall Stories
Tigers A Day in the Life Hypnotism
Self-diagnosis tool
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All material © Paul Farnsworth 2000-2009, and may not be reproduced without the express permission of the author. All characters, companies and organisations are fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.