Whose Legs Are These?
The gameshow for all the family
Doing the Lord's Work
Vicars on the job.
Evening Courses
Pseudo-academic subjects and frivolous arts and crafts courses.
Donald Fact's Fact Blast
It's a Fact, brought to you by Crunchy Flakes.
Rod Stewart and Enya's Rock 'n' Roll Mysteries
Solving crimes and fighting bad guys.
Tony Fold's Country Rambles
with guest rambler, Rory Triffic.
Announcing the iSpong
Totally changing the way that people spong in the future.
Ralph Trundle: F1 Driver
We talk to a legend of the circuit
The Ultimate Procrastination Suite
Just been handed a project but can't be bothered to get started?
Cock
The magazine for young gentlemen.
Cake Rage
Pastry related assaults.
The Delusion of J Henry Proudfoot
We meet an alien archaeologist.
International Arse Kicking
Bottom kicking for fun and profit.
Cosmos Rocks
In an infinite universe, there is no limit to human gullibility.
The Fish Olympics
Piscine polevaulting and haddock hurdles.
Fine Dining
with Woodroffe Spanker
Words of wisdom from our resident medic
...Tigers ...Moles ...Farm Machinery ...Hypnotism ...Fruit ...Soap ...Implants ...Pianos ...Happy Clappers ...The Environment
Thinking of Buying an Octopus?
How to look after your squishy friend.
Happismiles Emergency Clown Service
For when your regular clown lets you down.
Wind Tunnel Technician
Pardon?
It's a Fact
Fun facts from the Fact Master. Fank you.
New Deposits of Earwax Discovered
Significant quantities discovered in Mr Harry Frome
Doing Lengths
Mr Zing is swimming from pole to pole
Well Stuffed
Rogue taxidermist terrorises family pets.
New Rights for Fictional Characters
It's no longer ok to call Oliver Twist a twat.
Something Happened on Tuesday
Probably, but we're not sure what.
Jehovah's Cleaners
Because cleanliness is nexr to godliness.
Feathered Friends
Could you befriend a lonely parrot?
The Battersea Wigs Home
We never put a healthy wig down.
Spread the Good Word!
Your chance to buy shares in the Salvation Army!
Travel News
Cowboys on the line and bricked up tunnels,
Twenty-First Century Scouting
A woggle for the new miilenium.
Amateur Stamp Collector Collector
Want to know how much to pay for a Nigel Tomlinson?
Why Your Printer Doesn't Work
Most of these devices are allergic to paper.
National Consumer Instructions Awards
Confusing, badly translated or just plain weird.
Puzzle Page!
With the amazing Mr Ooluv.
Rob Hammond's Essential Guide to Buddhism
Rob Hammond will give you a spiritual kicking,
Eazee-post
Taking the pain out of internet forums.
Skydiving
Skydiving without the unnecessary inconvenience of a parachute.
History in Focus
An elbow shaker and a lickspittling mumblecrust
The Alternative Olympics
Speed swingball and dodgem rallying.
Staff Handbook
A handy guide to your new workplace.
Things Fall Over All the Time
Arthur's train only has wheels on one side.
Bean Legacy
This summer, Christian Bale is Mr Bean.
Bing Crosby Boxing
Punching singers in the mouth.
The Horse-Drawn Record Player
Equestrian technology.
Bare-knuckle Snooker
The biggest threat to law and order since badminton
Bad Grandma Grammar
The inappropriate erection of words.
Your Staff Feedback, Your Way
Tired of hearing from ungrateful and misguided staff?
Buttock Express
Your arse in our hands.
A Sustained Corporate Battering
We're concerned about Mr Pyle
For Kids of All Ages...
Introducing our new range of children's books.
Topping Talent
Featuring the Marvellous Undersea Kingdom of Colin Chocolate.
Global Moistening
Fear of a wet planet.
It's All in the Game
Classic board games from the past.
Forward to the '80s
How we'll all be travelling in the '80s.
Petty Complaints Ombudsman
Giving your batshit insade complaints the respect they deserve.
Songs of Inspiration
Jesus Wants Me For His Darts Team.
Yeti Makeover
Mrs Stenchtrouser is planning an expedition.
Fleegle
New number has consequences for the future of the universe. And bingo.
Munchy Burger
Can you cut the mustard as a top burger executive?
Cheese Genome Finally Cracked!
Scientific proof of the existence of cheese.
Maisy Donnington's Guide to Perking Yourself Up
Turn that frown upside down.
Centuri Space Supplies
Second hand space travel
The Trivial Accident Group
Have you been slightly inconvenienced at work?
Persons Unknown
Mr Frampton is looking for somoeone to blame.
Mr Bannerman's Evidence
Courtroom confusion.
Mind Your Wind
Issued by the Ministry of Gas, 1942.
The Kidderminster Lemon Exchange
Open now for faster, more reliable lemon exchange.
No Offence
The Right Honourable David McGog unapologetically apologises.
Maisy Donnington's Cheese Etiquette Page
Your guide to the wonderful world of cheese.
A Very Local Paper
All the news that's local to Mr Henry Droop, Littlehampton.
Stuff Your Bleeding Job
How to resign digracefully.
Dobbins of Doncaster
Get yourself a quality ass.
The Thoroughfare of Success
Dick Smidgen teaches you how to live your life but better.
Cold Fusion Sandwiches
A new era in atomic lunches.
Teaching Carrots to Fly
The cutting edge of vegetable warfare.
SciFi Fan Draws a Blank
Publisher leaves pages blank to cut costs.
Jars-4-u
Get your jars opened by a professional jar opener!
The Prime Time Gameshow Generator
As used by TV executives worldwide.
Maisy Donnington's Office Safety
How to avoid the business end of a stapler.
Gin!
Gin, gin and more gin!
Maxi-Lingual for Motorists
Curse fluently in over six languages.
Slugbond
Because an inflated slug is a happy slug.
Glen Twerk is not at Work
Caveat emptor, quo vadis.
Digital Vicars
The secret ways that vicars communicate?
The Wonderful World of Ants
Ants, ants, ants, ants!
World of Holes
Europe's leading stockist of quality holes.
The Shepton Bassett Village Fete
In aid of the St Tiddles in the Font Restoration Fund.
Rationalising Britain's River Network
Britain's waterways need straightening,
Barney's Magic Wonder Show
Belinda Sommers reviews the latest production.
Scoop!
Local frog trapped in drain.
A Fistful of Sausages
Brought to you by the meat marketing board.
Linguini!
Learn to speak fluent pasta.
It's a Fact!
More facts from the Funky Fact Feller.
Lillywhite Lenny
On the importance of staying on the fecking horse.
Dilbert's Donkey Solutions
Professional donkey storage.
Auras by Post?
Spruce up your chakras
Noblock and Kerfanderbuck
All smileytangled cockrock strop.
Core Competencies in Office Furniture
Sign up for a certificate in filing cabinets.
Welcome to Stick World
If you like sticks, well, we've got sticks.
Squeak Off
The big noise in footwear technology.
An Important Announcement about Fish
Clever trout and erudite pilcards.
Are you ready for Digital Ornithology?
Analogue birds are about to be switched off.
World of the Wacky
With the Amazing Mr Ooluv
Typists of the Kalahari
Shorthand tigers and double entry hippos.
Quality Service at Pooley's
With our motoring correspondent, Martin Carburetor.
An Old Fart Remembers
Do you remember Puthering Day?
Cooker Island
Where the toasters roam free.
Old Clothes
Trading Standards warn against dangerously out of date clobber.
Dark Batter
Is the missing mass in the Universe actually pastry?
Fatquake
A sad farewell to the world's fatest man.
The Beaufort Scale
Slight wafts and uninvited pumps.
British Gas
Sending foreign gas back home.
How to Look After Your Cement Mixer
A great addition to any home.
The Language of Dance
Jazz hands and quickstep.
Traffic Watch
Heavy vibes are causing delays on the A52.
Knitting in Colour
This day in 1956 saw the introduction of the first regular colour knitting patterns.
'Ello 'Ello 'Ello, What's All This Then?
Presenting The Metropolitan Police Choir.
St Tiddles in the Font
Parish newsletter.
Out and About
The International Toast Museum and other attractions.
The Drivelling
Troubled Hammer film gets new release.
Carter-Pierrepoint
Particulate mapping of key delivery nodes.
So You've Got a New Manager?
How to stop it crapping in your in tray.
Grampion Strangely's Mountain Rescue
These vulnderable mountains need your help.
Moroccan Dancing Moles
David Attenburger's Wonderful World of Nature.
The Square Root of Green
Fresh breakthrough in the science of colourology.
Baby's First Swear
Teach your little angel to swear like a trooper.
Some People You've Never Heard Of
Rancid Alan Grease and others.
Ricky Stratocaster's History of Rock
Is Your Tortoise Roadworthy?
Important news from the Ministry of Tortoises.
Fats Porker - Blues Whinger
In memory of Crappsville's finest son.
Octo-Fever
Are you allergic to octopuses?
Professional Scarer
GRRRRRR! AAAAARRRRGH! GRRRR!
Pigchums
Meet likeminded pigs in your area!
Selling Crap for Fun and Profit
The very best in useless tat.
Galactic Phrasebook
Learn to speak Venusian!
Mr & Mrs Pottle are Lost Again
Why can't these people just stay at home?
Here Comes Barry Smith
Wise words from Shepton Bassett's number one coach driver.
Poot
Bigger, Better, Faster, Now!
Optimum Leaning Angles
How to look cool and interesting at an angle.
Have you got what it takes to stay in the country?
Be a great Briton. Or get out.
Mrs Womble writes...
The National Key Museum!
We've got keys!
Scrufty's Magic Juju Shoppe
A tale of oconker mismanagement.
The World Bullshit Record
Team bonding, goal setting and table top brainstorming
How To Be Sweary
with Professor Timothy Bottom.
Space Things
The continuing adventures of Astro Cat.
Barry the Road Safety Owl
No nonsense advice from a wise old bird
Pooley's Fire Distinguisher
Put paid to that firey bullshit.
Anti-Assertiveness Classes
Tone it down a bit.
Nuclear Garden
Mr Sideboard is not happy about his exploding shed.
Brixham Trouser Museum
The UK 's premier trouser experience.
Wisbech
Theft of town exposed as hoax.
The Bleeding Obvious
You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
The Wackiest Person in the UK
Alison Perkins is a mad as a fish.
Tax, What Tax?
Sir John Wyndrell has never heard of his own company.
Drive-by Wallpapering
Delinquent decorating.
Mr Gammon's Objections
Shepton Bassett Council Responds
Shark Fishing
Fergus Pong has a shark problem.
Dream Strides
Emergency trousers delivered direct to your anxiety nightmare.
Gerald de Scooter's Restaurant Guide
Top notch swanky grub,
Comfy Dinners
A meal fit for a bed.
Some more stupid than others.
Barry Buys a Broom
Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor
Board Meeting
The Day Before Tomnorrow
Tall Story in a Short Glass
The Hedgehog King
The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man
Venus by Catapult
You Again
Death, Doom and Disaster
Goldilocks and the Free Bears
An Open Letter to Shepton Bassett Park & Zoo
Sorry about your monkeys.
Brick II
Recycling the rubble.
Not Funny
Prof Jez Moonbeam is laughable.
Machiavelli Management Solutions
Discipline over distance.
Local Heroes
Outstanding achievements in the field of vandalism.
Veg-U-Like
Tomatoes, cauliflower, brussel sprouts and peas - collect the whole set.
What's On in Lower Bumpstead
A packed programme, following that unfortunate incident with the fire eater.
Arty Tomatoes
Guy Pakker's latest artistic venture.
Kicking Up a New Stink
Breakthrough leads to discovery of new smell.
We're No Longer Recruiting...
...but here are some of the unlucky applicants
Inside the Nun Factory
Where do nuns come from?
The Long Range Trouser Forecast
Overnight corduroys and occasional dungarees.
How Long is a Piece of String?
The hit gameshow for all the family.
Astralguard
Insurance for Astral Travellers.
Shave the Moon
Our hairy satellite.
Sofas are From Mars...
The race to put the first sofa on Mars.
Marmaduke Irksome: A Retrospective
Talking crap in the House of Commons.
So Special
Special beauty therapies for very special people.
Tripping the Dark Fantastic
Hello darkness my old friend
Short and Curly
Unlocking the power of curly hair.
Sugar Free Vegan Diesel
There's no butter in it either.
Food Banking
MPs praise growing industry.
Metal Detecting
German U-Boat Found on Devon Beach.
Neighbor Nightmares: The Movie
Two men, one drive, no prisoners.
A Ding-Dong Duvets
Prof Reynaud pulls a fast one.
Cosmic Background Apathy
Will the universe keep expanding until it can't be bothered anymore?
The Great Space Exhibition
Glorious innovations and technical marvels!
Buy Our Shampoo
Just buy it, ok.
The Devil's Arse On Tour
Famous cavern to tour country
Petunia Mulch
Plant psychologist.
One-Sided Dice
One-Sided Dice for Fatalists.
The Embarrasment of Nasal Hair Loss
Nostril wigs for all occasions
Flexi Mortem
The only credit card you can use after death.
What Is It?
How what why when who where and when? Hello?
Dougal Fridgely
Possible dwarf planet discovered in Tadcaster
Extreme Dinosaurs
Skateboarding plesiosaurs, rollerblading raptors and a brontosaurus with a space hopper.
Greygolds Residential Care Home
Where quality care costs extra.
Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg
A bouncy little freak.
Butterfly
Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory
Introducing Flying Squirrels
Flying into the side of a house at forty knots...
Historic Knees
Knees of outstanding natural beauty.
In the market for a used policeman?
How to spot a dodgy copper.
Product Recall
Some of our biscuits may contain canoes.
Did Man Really Go To Belgium?
The dark truth behind the Belgian conspiracy
The Unusual Suspects
A message from Det. Insp. Barker Harris.
10 Things You Never Knew About Frogs
Frogtastic Facts
Award for Outstanding Celebrity
New awards for old has-beens
Empire of the Flowers
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Operation Growbag.
Debt Matters
Making you aware of your debt.
Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery
Save cash - fix your own pets in the comfort of your own home.
Know Your Birds
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Modern Day Bird Warfare
Top Twenty Albums of the '70s
With Ricky Stratocaster, professor of twangology.
Hear and Now
For collectors of rare and unusual sounds.
Pretty Pictures
Better management through crayons.
Fraudulent Bananas
Phony fruit.
Oven Chimps
With none of the greasy aftertaste of regular monkeys.
Shepton Bassett - A Vision for the Future
Better late than never, our town plan.
The Discovery of Vitamin G
Great moments in science.
Punctuation Crisis
We're running out of apostrophes.
Crystal N.R.G.
Harnessing the mystical bollocks of the universe.
No More Glasses!
Fry sausages with just a wink of the eye.
Cut Price Chips
You like chips? You like lots of chips?
Bristletech Industries
Do you need to grow a beard? Fast?
Exploding Dinners
Put the fun back into dinner time.
Cash for Pets
Trade in your unwanted dog.
The Sandwich Advisor
Buying a sandwich is the third most stressful thing you can do.
Jazz Bomb
Raw unadulterated jazz.
Diagnosis
Professor Wimple has a dirty mouth.
Harry Carson is Watching You
It's a man's life as a modern store detective.
Donald Fact's Fact Breakers
Remembering the classic '70s kids' show.
Gentlemen's Etiquette
How to behave right proper and all that.
Caught by the Fuzz
New Recruitment Initiatives within the UK Police Force.
Emergency Kebabs
When you absolutely positively need a kebab.
Blood Donors Needed
Please bleed into the envelope provided.
Motorcycle Display Teams
A bunch of blokes twatting about on bikes.
Dolby Noise Reduction Sausages
Cut out the hiss next breakfast time.
Ant Facts
with Donald Fact.
A Career in Printing
Why not specialise in the colour green?
The Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment
Get your wonky flappers straightened here
Death By Pastry
A huge pie just hanging in space.
Night of the Womble
Unpublished Womble book is dystopian nightmare.
Criminal Offence Self-Assessment Form
Tick the box if you're a wrong 'un.
Jaggedy
Mrs Lubricant wants a tidiery Britain.
Spooky Doings
The magazine of weird and improbable stuff.
Christopher Columbus Discoveries Inc
If you've lost it, Chris will find it.
Echo...Echo
Mr Clutterbuck has an echo... echo... echo.
Sounds of Nature
Relax with chickens.
The Aromatron
A whole new world of smells awaits you.
Man Blames ESA for Domestic Eclipse
Mr Cravat is not happy about where they park their stuff.
Pigmongering
Fergus Pong introduces us to this dying art.
Art
Selwyn Peach paints Elephants
Operation Mutton
The millitary applications of sheep during WWII.
Piffin: A Mediterranean Paradise
Boasting Europe's biggest landfill.
Help a Pirate in Need
These buccaneers desperately need your support.
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