Archive 1

Terraform

Ambitious plans have been put into action for the terraforming of the surface of the planet Mars - not, as you might expect, by a government agency, nor by the scientific community at large, but by McDonalds, the multi-national fast food outlet. "We know that this is a major project," said spokesman Brian Permanganate. "And we're sure that it won't be without its problems, but we're confident that we can create conditions on Mars capable of supporting up to fifteen drive-thru restaurants within the space of six years. These outlets will subsequently encourage the growth of many other retail units, leading to the creation of permanent, self-supporting out-of-town commercial centres. I think we can quite reasonably expect that by the year 2017, most people on Earth will be doing their shopping on Mars, perhaps stopping off at the Moon on the way back to fill up with fuel, grab a doughnut and buy some garden furniture."