Archive 1

Bowiephobia

Mrs Glenda Trent from Lancashire used to be a huge fan of David Bowie, but all that came to end three years ago when she developed a severe case of Bowiephobia. Now, much to her dismay, she cannot bear to come into contact with her great hero. Listening to his music brings on debilitating panic attacks, and if she should be unfortunate enough to glimpse him on TV she will inevitably break out into a rash. It's heartbreaking for Mrs Trent, who has been forced to sell off her massive collection of Bowie records and memorabilia. Doctors are baffled by the condition, although there has been one suggestion that it's actually caused by a virus, something similar to the equally distressing Jaggeritis that has recently cut down many Stones fans in their prime. For Mrs Trent life continues to be intolerable. She recently had to be hospitalised after inadvertently brushing past a copy of Aladdin Sane in her local branch of Woolworth's, and the incident subsequently came to the attention of Mr Bowie himself. He very kindly sent her a get well soon card, a magnanimous gesture which sadly sent Mrs Trent into a coma as soon as she opened it.