The University of the Bleeding Obvious

Jubilee Street

"A day's work discarded amongst the hand baskets, and the tatty receipts, and the dirty copper coins and grubby fivers."


"We don't know what you're up to but we want it to stop."

Baron Havoc Regrets

"He 'very much regretted' the annihilation of Ludlow."

Help Yourself

"the current rates of remuneration seriously underestimate just how much it takes to keep a politician on the straight and narrow."

Chip Papers, Doggy Doings and Sick

"Now, my little darlings, it's all grey."

Self Service

"You got used to colourful language when you were up to your elbows in oxtail, I can tell you."

The Everyday Dreams of a Rock and Roll Postman

"When you're laid up in hospital after being run over by an armoured personnel carrier, you have plenty of time to think about the future."

I Don't Mind If I Do

"Can't stand lawyers, you know. Wouldn't have one in the house."

Jacob Wanting

"Consider what we might do with tales of worn out shoes and empty pans."

There Are No Monsters Here

"I wouldn't trust most of you to dress yourselves without a team of paramedics standing by."

The Last Supper

"Most riots tend to peter out once they get into their tenth year."

(Big) Society

"Mr Rumblelow, you're dripping! Have you overloaded your bristles?"

From Your Prospective Representative

"Nothing but a bunch of self-serving parasites who have weaselled their way into high office."

Unlimited Capability

When I arrived they told me to 'watch the step' and apparently I did, so they concluded that I had twenty-twenty vision.


"I've got drawers full of kidneys, a filing cabinet full of lungs and the smell from the broom closet is enough to make your eyes peel."


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