"A day's work discarded amongst the hand baskets, and the tatty receipts, and the dirty copper coins and grubby fivers."
"We don't know what you're up to but we want it to stop."
"He 'very much regretted' the annihilation of Ludlow."
"the current rates of remuneration seriously underestimate just how much it takes to keep a politician on the straight and narrow."
"Now, my little darlings, it's all grey."
"You got used to colourful language when you were up to your elbows in oxtail, I can tell you."
"When you're laid up in hospital after being run over by an armoured personnel carrier, you have plenty of time to think about the future."
"Can't stand lawyers, you know. Wouldn't have one in the house."
"Consider what we might do with tales of worn out shoes and empty pans."
"I wouldn't trust most of you to dress yourselves without a team of paramedics standing by."
"Most riots tend to peter out once they get into their tenth year."
"Mr Rumblelow, you're dripping! Have you overloaded your bristles?"
"Nothing but a bunch of self-serving parasites who have weaselled their way into high office."
When I arrived they told me to 'watch the step' and apparently I did, so they concluded that I had twenty-twenty vision.
"I've got drawers full of kidneys, a filing cabinet full of lungs and the smell from the broom closet is enough to make your eyes peel."
All material Copyright © Paul Farnsworth 2012 and may not be reproduced without the express permission of the author in any medium including but not limited to personal blogs, messageboards and other internet forums. This restriction also applies to the hotlinking of images. Permission can be requested at email@example.com. All characters, companies and organisations are fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.
A 21st Century highwaymay.
We open your jars for you!
Mars observed behaving oddly.
Mankind's fascination with his hirsute neighbour in space
Selections from Dr Bongo's dazzling literary career
Twenty thousand sharks a week pass over Mr Pong's farm