Man names crab in divorce proceedings

Petitioning for divorce in Shepton Bassett County Court yesterday, Mr Graham Pendulum named Snaps McKinley, a crab from Great Yarmouth, as the party involved in an adulterous affair with his estranged wife.

"She's always had this thing about seafood," Mr Pendulum told the magistrate. "For as long as I can remember there have been strange winkles and mussels sniffing around, and many's the time I've come home early from work to find the house smelling of lobsters."

Mrs Pendulum strenuously denied the implication that she had ever been profligate with molluscs but nevertheless admitted the affair, explaining that she had been driven to seek comfort in the arms of a licentious and manipulative crustacean by her husband's unreasonable attitude towards clams.

She also asked for several other shellfish to be taken into consideration.

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