Man names crab in divorce proceedings

Sexy crab

Petitioning for divorce in Shepton Bassett County Court yesterday, Mr Graham Pendulum named Snaps McKinley, a crab from Great Yarmouth, as the party involved in an adulterous affair with his estranged wife.

"She's always had this thing about seafood," Mr Pendulum told the magistrate. "For as long as I can remember there have been strange winkles and mussels sniffing around, and many's the time I've come home early from work to find the house smelling of lobsters."

Mrs Pendulum strenuously denied the implication that she had ever been profligate with molluscs but nevertheless admitted the affair, explaining that she had been driven to seek comfort in the arms of a licentious and manipulative crustacean by her husband's unreasonable attitude towards clams.

She also asked for several other shellfish to be taken into consideration.

submit to reddit
The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Highway Robbery

Have you seen these stolen roads?

Promo Image

Appliances

More attacks by household appliances

Promo Image

Come to MonkWorld!

See the monks in their natural habitat

Promo Image

Pretty Pictures

Keeping senior management out of trouble with colouring books.

Promo Image

Announcing the iSpong

At last, a revolution in automated sponging.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...