The Sandwich: #92

The Sandwich

#92

We have arrived at the zoo. There are three types of zoo, you might be interested to know. There are big proper zoos, full of lions and tigers and okapis, where you are not allowed to touch the animals, or even feed them. I often wonder how the animals survive if no one is allowed to feed them. I have a theory that they fill them with gas. I have a boiler that runs on gas and when it's running it sounds like an hippopotamus, which I think confirms my theory. Also I once saw an hippopotamus doing a big widdle, and it was all hot and steam was coming off it, just like when I run the water for a bath - so, again, that's another tick for my theory.

The second type of zoo is the petting zoo. This time you are allowed to touch the animals, within reason. There are no lions and tigers and okapis, which is just as well, because they'd have your arm off. At a petting zoo you have chickens and ducks and sheeps and lamb chops, and all the other animals that you can get at the butchers. You're not allowed to ride on the pigs, though.

Finally there is the Babylon Zoo. This is not actually an animal-type zoo, but a band from the nineties that no one remembers anymore. Not even me, and I just said it. I have also heard that there is something called a Shih Tzu, which is one with no penguins, but I think this might be a joke. I don't get it.

 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
'Sadly, not everyone can handle themselves as well as I can'
Find your perfect sandwich
...for Outstanding Celebrity Without Really Doing Very Much
'Turn yourself in, sonny'
Tapping the vast store of energy locked away in curly hair
Ofsted Inspection Report
Nobody's interested in 'darksabers'
Detectorist finds World War II German U-boat
Police investigate trippy cows.
Skydiving holidays with a difference

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...