Silly Names for Cars

In a worrying development for the automotive business, the marketing director for the new Ford Twat has admitted that they are running out of stupid names for cars. Saddling models with labels that are ridiculously inappropriate, unwieldy or just plain daft is a tradition which dates back to the very earliest days of the industry. Appellations like the Daihatsu Scat, the Ford Probe and the Renault Wind follow the glorious pattern set by those early pioneers who brought us the Daimler Flange, the Renault Kevin and the Mercedes Benz Trumpet Endurance.

Whilst it is tempting to wonder what kind of infantile brain fart resulted in the moniker applied to the Ford Ka, there was surely a perverse form of surrealism at work when they came up with the Honda That's, and the thinking behind the Volkswagen Thing portrays a bleak and utilitarian mastery of the art which verges on the postmodern. Probably.

The success of the Dacia Duster might seem to indicate that there are no real concerns as yet, but coming so soon after the Chamois, the Clothes Brush and the 2.0-litre Turbocharged Super-Mop, it displays a worrying lack of originality.

And Ford, which has traditionally been at the forefront of silly names, seems to be struggling more than most. Rumours have emerged concerning its proposed new 3-door hatchback: it has variously been referred to as the Concrete Bicep, the Vol-au-vant and the Belch, but we hear that serious consideration is being given to just calling it a Fiesta and having done with the whole thing.

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