Keeping Ballet Dancers in Captivity

Is it cruel to keep ballet dancers in captivity? That's the question that will be discussed this weekend at a symposium set up by the World Wildlife Fund. Those against argue that ballet dancers need the wild wide open spaces of the savannah to properly flourish and practice their entrechats. Those in favour of continuing the practice believe that it is necessary to ensure the survival of these frail and delicate creatures.

It is believed that ballet dancers no longer exist in the wild, their natural habitats having been overrun by lions and tigers, which are traditionally faster, more aggressive and have sharper teeth than anything in a leotard. Furthermore, previous attempts to reintroduce them back into the wild have ended in disaster, with the ballet dancers usually ending up being done over by monkeys.

However, it should be noted that such objections did not impede a successful programme to release mime artists from captivity in 1998, but it remains to be seen whether any useful comparisons can be drawn.