LOST CAT?

WHY NOT?

When it's not scratching the hell out of your furniture or littering your house with the dismembered remnants of the local wildlife, it's shitting in your flowerbeds, so isn't it time you gave serious thought to getting rid of the bleeding thing?

Losing a cat isn't easy; they have an unfortunate habit of finding their way home. This is why you need professionals on the job. This is why you need Moggy Gone.

Here at Moggy Gone we have a dedicated team of transport professionals who can deposit your troublesome tabby in some of the most remote locations on the planet. There is no way that puss will find his way back from the Arctic unaided and a return ticket from the Amazon basin is far beyond the means of even the most fiscally flawless of felines.

If you need further reassurance why not opt for our 'Supervillain' package, where for a modest additional fee we will drop your problem pet into an active volcano or fire it into space. Your cat will enjoy the ride of its life and we guarantee that you'll never have to clean up after the filthy animal ever again.

There's no coming back. Honestly.