Rare Bird Visits Derbyshire Town

Birdwatchers from all over the country have been flocking to a small town in Derbyshire to watch a rare European bee-eater called Tony, and frankly he's sick of it. The bird, currently holidaying in the country over the summer, has been pestered by twitchers since he arrived and he feels that it's all gone a bit too far.

"It was very pleasant at first," he told us. "I mean, who wouldn't be just a little bit flattered by all that attention? But pretty soon it becomes way too much. I mean, I can't do anything without some be-anoraked nerd sticking his long lens in. I'm just going about my business, trying to have a few relaxing weeks to myself before I have to get back to the daily grind of catching insects and fighting for survival. But can I get a moment's peace? Can I hell! I tell you, I was thinking of bringing the wife and kids here next year, but if this is how you treat your visitors then forget it - we'll go to Disneyland instead."

Responding to Tony's comments, a spokesman from the RSPB said, "Fuck me, a talking bird!"

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