Rare Bird Visits Derbyshire Town

Birdwatchers from all over the country have been flocking to a small town in Derbyshire to watch a rare European bee-eater called Tony, and frankly he's sick of it. The bird, currently holidaying in the country over the summer, has been pestered by twitchers since he arrived and he feels that it's all gone a bit too far.

"It was very pleasant at first," he told us. "I mean, who wouldn't be just a little bit flattered by all that attention? But pretty soon it becomes way too much. I mean, I can't do anything without some be-anoraked nerd sticking his long lens in. I'm just going about my business, trying to have a few relaxing weeks to myself before I have to get back to the daily grind of catching insects and fighting for survival. But can I get a moment's peace? Can I hell! I tell you, I was thinking of bringing the wife and kids here next year, but if this is how you treat your visitors then forget it - we'll go to Disneyland instead."

Responding to Tony's comments, a spokesman from the RSPB said, "Fuck me, a talking bird!"

submit to reddit
The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

The Museum of Found Noises

Parp Clang Twang Wubble-Wubble-Wubble-Wubble.

Promo Image

One-Sided Dice

New dice for fatalists.

Promo Image

Art

Selwyn Peach paints Elephants

Promo Image

Inside the Nun Factory

The inner workings of nun manufacture

Promo Image

Linguiniphone

Learn to speak fluent Pasta.

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...