Crime Waves

A report commissioned by the Home Office has revealed that for the year 2015/2016 the crime rate in the North Sea was practically zero.

At depths of around 95 metres, instances of housebreaking were significantly lower than the national average, and car theft was practically unheard of. In deeper regions the statistics were even more striking.

Researchers are currently looking into the reason for these impressive figures. No conclusions have yet been reached, but many police forces around the country are already experimenting with planting seaweed in troubled night-spots in order to stem the outbreak of violent crime.

crime waves

 

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Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

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UK Government to Sell North Sea?

Documents are released which show government once considered sale of damp asset.

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Surrealist Muggings

Man robbed by colour blue.

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Pop-Up Royals

Royal Family will cost you 20M in hay alone.

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North Yorkshire's Got Talented Traffic Wardens

Following the recent Bake Off contest to find a dinner lady

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Belicose Pork

Feral Sausages and malignant pork pies.

 

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