The Moonbeam Fresh Air System

 

Jez Moonbeam

Professor Jez Moonbeam has invented a new type of fan. Instead of simply moving air around, it creates a steady stream of completely new air. "This is the ultimate fresh air system," says Moonbeam. "Install the fan in your home or workplace and you can be confident that you are breathing clean, healthy air, which has never been breathed by anyone before. It's, like, more natural than nature itself!"

The only problem with the Moonbeam Fresh Air system is that the creation of new air will ultimately cause the atmosphere to swell, make all the clouds burst and ultimately flip the planet off its axis. Imagine that, the whole planet just spinning wildly through space. We wouldn't stand a chance, you know. I mean, really, we wouldn't stand a fucking chance! Oh my GOD! We're all going to die! For Christ's sake, someone stop this MADNESS!!! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! Someone stop this FUCKING LUNATIC. WE'RE ALL DOOOOOOOMED!

The new fan goes on sale next month.

 

Return to Archive 2

The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015 The UBO Annual 2016 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

A Boost for Industry

Airfix wins major defence contract.

Promo Image

Baby's First Swear

Try out the new Swearomatic

Promo Image

Dirty Electric

Dodgy current

Promo Image

Exploding Dogs

It's for their own good

Promo Image

Bulbous Spock's Wine Guide

Top notch swanky grog

Promo Image

Climbing the Orinoco

Man attempts river climb.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

10 August 2017: Usherette Misses Out on Award Again

07 August 2017: Selling Crap for Fun and Profit

01 August 2017: Vapid

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk