Shrewsbury Woman to be Demolished to Make Way for Flyover

Our commiserations to Mr Alex Pollard of Shrewsbury, who has failed to prevent his local council from demolishing his wife in order to build a new flyover. Mr Pollard first became aware of the council's intentions three years ago, and began a lengthy legal battle to prevent the demolition order being carried out. He has, during that time, persuaded the council to consider a number of alternative routes, the most feasible of which would have involved flattening Mrs Hewson at number forty-two, or blasting a tunnel through the woman who works at the launderette. However, both these women have been declared areas of natural beauty and are therefore considered off-limits for development.

As a last-ditch attempt to save his wife, Mr Pollard has claimed that she is a site of historical significance, but in a recent hearing he failed to convince the board of English Heritage that she was the scene of one of the most significant battles of the Civil War. Work on the long-delayed flyover is now set to recommence and Mrs Pollard is scheduled to be blown up next Wednesday.

Mr Pollard is, understandably, most distressed by this news and believes there is more to this decision than meets the eye. Ten years ago, whilst swimming in the sea during a holiday in Bournemouth, his mother was identified as a danger to shipping and scuttled by the Royal Navy. Mr Pollard believes, perhaps not unreasonably, that he is the victim of a plot and has warned other members of his family to be especially vigilant.

 

Flyover

 

Return to Archive 2

The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015 The UBO Annual 2016 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Turpin

A 21st Century highwaymay.

Promo Image

Massive Maracas

Mexican village attempts massive maracas record.

Promo Image

Young Waiter of the Year

A gobful of abuse from young Paul certainly strikes home.

Promo Image

Alps

Mountain range requires repointing.

Promo Image

Whip-it-Round Delivery Services

Compensation! I'd feel exactly the same way in your situation...

Promo Image

Digital Vicars

Ecclesiastical communication over distance.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

04 September 2017: Fraudulent Bananas

02 September 2017: Orchestra Exchange

01 September 2017: Mr Forage and His Newts

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk