The Abbey.

Visit the historic Rumpleford Abbey, learn something of its glorious past and admire its stunning architecture.  And for those of you who don't appreciate history, there's bumper cars and naked darts.

Nun Enclosure

Watch the nuns as they gambol and canter in a specially created paddock that simulates their natural habitat.  WARNING: Do not feed.

Fossilised Monks' Eggs

Uncovered by palaeontologists in 1988, these are the actual fossilised eggs of giant monks who stalked the Earth over 65 million years ago.

Ferris Wheel

Offering a panoramic view of the entire park.

Monks' Circus

All the fun of the big top! See Brother Gabriel walk the high wire.  Gasp in amazement as Brother Hacket puts his head in the Satanist's mouth.  Wet yourself laughing as the Abbot himself gets fired from the big cannon.

Pilgrim's Progress

Quite simply the biggest, scariest religious-themed rollercoaster in Europe.

Boating Lake

It's a great life, just messing about on the water!  And if you're lucky you may catch a glimpse of the majestic shoals of marine friars that have made their home in the lake.

Medieval World

Authentically simulating life in the middle ages, our highly acclaimed medieval village is a favourite with kids and grown-ups alike.  See the quaint old cottages, visit the Colosseum and the Pyramids and learn what life was really like before the invention of the wheel.  With complimentary potatoes.

Conference Centre

With the very latest in communications and presentation facilities, our conference centre is the ideal choice for your company's annual general meeting.  Our friendly and helpful staff of executive monks are permanently on hand to provide refreshment, offer assistance and pray for the continued success of your company on the stock exchange.   Chocolate digestives are extra.

The Reserve

Wild monks still roam this area of natural woodland.  Our guide will show you where they nest, where they feed and where they play.  The reserve has also recently become home to a pack of bishops, and if you visit during the summer months there is a good chance you will be able to watch them swinging from the trees.

Map of Monkworld



Whether you're Mr Percy Pious, the most religious man on the planet, or just some kind of hippie Satanist pagan weirdo, you're sure to find something to amuse you here at Monkworld...

So, whatever denomination you are, why not drop in and see us here at Monkworld On second thoughts, no Scientologists - we can't be doing with all that weird shit.

Return to 'Monks' Tea Party'

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The Annual 2017

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The UBO Annual 2015The UBO Annual 2016The History of RockThe Bongo LecturesKicking and ScreamingDead PeasantsRecalled to LifeUBO Volume 1UBO Volume 2Death Doom and DisasterGoldilocks and the Free Bears

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Dr Ballcock invents the perfect circle.

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Flexi-Mortem

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Stealing horses to order

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Traffic Watch

The latest local information

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Special Powers

Under new proposals, police officers will be equipped with X-ray vision.

 

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