Turpin

Flintlock

At 73, William Turpin remains fully active in his chosen profession, despite suffering horrific injuries on a daily basis.

The great, great grandson of legendary highwayman Dick Turpin, William has followed in the family tradition and continues to ply his trade up and down the motorways of Great Britain.

"Of course, things were much easier in the days of my illustrious ancestor," says William from his hospital bed, where he is recovering from a broken collar bone, severe lacerations of the face and a cracked pelvis. "All he had to do was step out into the road, cry out 'stand and deliver' then just collect the loot. Now me, I step out into the road and get as far as 'sta...' and then whack! Next thing I know, I'm lying in a ditch with my legs bent round the wrong way and the word 'Scania' imprinted across my forehead."

 

Return to Archive 3

coin

Get access to our library for just £1!
14 books for you to download, including all our annuals and the EXCLUSIVE members-only Private Bits.

books

Click Here to get your download link.

Close

Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

Download here for just £1.

The UBO Annual 2021

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2021

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

Stupid Stories

Stupid Stories

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2020

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2020

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2018

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2017

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2017

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 1

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 1

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 2

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 2

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
At traffic lights his vehicle will be in a constant state of motion.
Sir Christian Pyle shows us his nuts
Turns out that it's a slightly pallid shade of yellow.
Belinda Sommers reviews this pile of toss
Have you seen these men?
Impure current and questionable voltage
Cathedral root system causes concern
Ecclesiastical communication over distance.
Archaeologists discover historic hole.
A scattering of corduroys overnight…

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

17 September 2021: The Sandwich: #96

16 September 2021: The Sandwich: #95

15 September 2021: The Sandwich: #94