*@%£!

computer

What is the difference between man and machine? What separates human intelligence from the mechanical logic of the computerised mind? What, if anything, makes human consciousness unique within the infinite universe?

Is it the ability to think intuitively, to make random and apparently irrational decisions? Is it the imagination that allows us to bridge the gap between the commonplace and the possible? Is it the ability to love, to feel compassion, or any of that Star Trek stuff?

Well, according to Professor Brinkley Tramlines, the difference between man and mechanism can be defined very easily - it's the ability to swear.

"Too fucking right," says Professor Tramlines. "These bastard computers don't know crap about the real world. They're all locked up safely in twatting laboratories, working out frigging chess problems. Arseholes! They haven't got a sodding clue about the kind of shit that real people have put up with.

"And they say that one day computers will run the world - Ha! Bollocks to that. You try looking up 'twatty flaps' in your spellchecker and see what you get. Trust me, we won't succeed at producing real machine intelligence until we finally come up with a toaster that can tell you to piss off."

 

 

 

Return to Archive 3

coin

Get access to our library for just £1!
14 books for you to download, including all our annuals and the EXCLUSIVE members-only Private Bits.

books

Click Here to get your download link.

Close

Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

Download here for just £1.

The UBO Annual 2021

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2021

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

Stupid Stories

Stupid Stories

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2020

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2020

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2018

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2017

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2017

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 1

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 1

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 2

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 2

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Squawk squawk squawk squawk squawk squawk.
'There are simply too many of them,' says Dame Vera Trickle.'
Prof Moonbeam invents new kind of fan.
Man bugled due to typing error.
The dark side of interior decorating
How to look trendy and windswept
A computer virus that can lie dormant in Ethernet cables.
No. 128: Chinese Shelves.
Marketing a new virus

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

17 September 2021: The Sandwich: #96

16 September 2021: The Sandwich: #95

15 September 2021: The Sandwich: #94