Tree Warden

Situations Vacant

Tree Warden
Ref: BRX/16/9875
Salary Details: Grade 5 - £20,253 to £22,937 per annum
Job Term: Full Time
Appointment Type: Permanent
Hours: 37
Location: Environmental Services Unit

Hey you! Yes, you. Take that soppy look off your face and listen up. Have you ever wanted to really make something of your life? Don't you want to be respected? Admired? Haven't you ever yearned to be somebody? Well now here's your chance - your chance to sign on as a Tree Warden!

Yeah, you heard straight. Broxborough Borough Council is looking for trainee tree wardens to help stem the flood of illegally parked foreign trees pouring into our region. Think you've got what it takes?

Hey, I'm talking to you! Wipe your nose, stop mumbling into your coffee and answer me, boy. Do you have what it takes to keep your cool when you're ordering a European Larch to move on, or trying to slap a ticket on a Sweet Chestnut? Do I hear a 'Hell Yes!' boy? You reckon you can hold your ground in the face of an aggressive Norway Spruce? You got the balls to outwit a Purple Willow or look a Sycamore in the eye and tell the woody bastard to vamoose? Hell, I know a sycamore don't got no eye, just answer the damn question!

Good. That's more like it. You could be just the person we're looking for. To apply, send a photograph of yourself in your pants to:

Mr J G Peasmould
Chief Environmental Officer
Broxborough Borough Council
Corporation St
Broxborough

submit to reddit
The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Strawberries

Is the strawberry a fruit of an animal?

Promo Image

Tosser

Hurling pigs off the Empire State Building.

Promo Image

Oompah

Traditional Oompah music under threat.

Promo Image

Why your printer doesn't work

Most commercially available printers have an inbuilt fear of paper.

Promo Image

Doodle

All your doodling done professionally.

Promo Image

A Very Local Paper

All the news from Acacia Street

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...