Is your Hoover past its prime?

There's nothing more heartbreaking than seeing an old vacuum cleaner as it puffs and wheezes around your front room, spilling out dust from its perforated bag and choking asthmatically on a hairball or a speck of grit. What was once a healthy young appliance, full of vim and vigour, is now a rickety old embarrassment with a cracked nozzle and a wonky castor, and about as much suction as a child's toy arrow.

You might think that the kindest thing to do is to take it out into the back yard and blow its filter out with a shotgun.

But wait just one darn moment! Here at the Duncleanin' Home for Knackered Hoovers, we can provide a carefree life for your retired Henrys and Henriettas. A place where they can live out their remaining years in an atmosphere of comfort and dignity, whilst being dragged about by their hoses, scuffed up against skirting boards and used as doorstops.

So when it's time to empty out your loved one into the wheelie bin of decrepitude, give us a call.

The Duncleanin' Home
for Knackered Hoovers

Because old age doesn't have to suck

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

'Ello 'Ello 'Ello

The Metropolitan Police Choir in concert

Promo Image

Cut Price Chips

You like chips. You like lots of chips.

Promo Image

And Now the Trouser Forecast

A scattering of corduroys overnight...

Promo Image

Scientist Discovers Square Root of Green

Turns out that it's a slightly pallid shade of yellow.

Promo Image

Grand Theft Equine

Stealing horses to order

Promo Image

Is Your Office Chair Road Legal?

Stop right there! Your furniture could soon be illegal.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...