Emergency Merger

Plans to merge emergency services in the UK have been branded 'mental' by opposition groups, who claim that the decision would be a recipe for disaster. Proposals have been advanced that will see Fire, Police and Ambulance departments merge into a single unified service in a move designed to increase efficiency and response times.

Several pilot schemes have already ended in disaster with ambulance crews called out to attend domestic disturbances equipped only with fire axes, firefighters carrying out emergency CPR with truncheons and policeman setting fire to cats stuck up trees. Nevertheless, the government is keen to press ahead with the scheme despite what it calls 'a few isolated setbacks'.

Meanwhile, motoring organisation the AA, which brands itself 'Britain's fourth emergency service', has enjoyed rather more success after merging with Relate, and now offers roadside assistance for relationship breakdowns. I thank you.

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Yeti Makeover

Mrs Stenchtrouser's quest to make the mythical beast presentable

Promo Image

Not Funny

Jez Moonbeam discovers the joke particle

Promo Image

Bongo's Books

Selections from Dr Bongo's dazzling literary career

Promo Image

Emergency Kebabs

Acclaim for new venture.

Promo Image

Maisy Donnington's Cheese Etiquette Page

Maisy Donnington is your guide to the wonderful world of cheese

Promo Image

Doodle

All your doodling done professionally.

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...