Now you too can master the secrets of the dancefloor from the comfort of your own home.
The ability to dance is an important skill and yet it is one that very few people can demonstrate without looking like they're partially concussed, suffering from trapped wind or have just been inconvenienced by a runaway steamroller.
But this needn't be the case. Most people can learn how to reach a socially acceptable level of competence without the need for surgery. Just a few short lessons can turn you from an out-of-control maniac whirling across the ballroom in a flurry of legs and elbows into someone who can be trusted to at least join in the fun without the local council deploying traffic cones and warning signs.
Previously, this would have entailed joining a class where you would be subjected to the ridicule of an instructor, your fellow pupils and anyone else who happened to be passing at the time. But not anymore! Now you can learn to dance by telephone, meaning that you can look like a prick in the comfort and privacy of your own home.
But how is this possible?
It's all thanks to Karen Shuffle, an international ballroom champion with over forty years' experience - mostly in telesales. Karen can instruct you in the rumba or talk you through a cha-cha-cha over the phone just as easily as if she was in the room with you. And she can determine whether you've reached the required standard to attempt the Argentinian tango just by listening to the grunts and groans that reach her down the line.
Karen's company, Tele-Trotters, has already very nearly coached several international champions and successfully dodged a number of legal actions. Not bad for a company which has only been going for two years!
So why not push the furniture back, squeeze into your dancing trousers and give Karen a call today?
Let your fingers do the dancing