The

Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment

Feeling giddy?  Confused?  Don't know whether you're coming or going?
The chances are that your ears are out of whack.

Proper doctors now know that irregular, misplaced and maladjusted ear alignment can cause delirium, panic attacks and seepage.  And if left untreated, it can ultimately lead to permanent, irreversible mentalism.

You don't want to be a mental, do you?

Of course not.  Well, now the Montreux Clinic for Aural Readjustment can help. Here, look at this:

Man with unbalanced ears Man with balanced ears

See?  Fortunately, Senior Consultant Roberto El Armitagio has developed a simple, effective and relatively safe method of ear balancing which can seriously improve your chances of staying on the right side of gaga.  Using a combination of lead weights, pulleys and elastic webbing, his method can have your wonky flappers fixed up in no time*.

*approximately six to eight weeks, depending on the initial degree of displacement.


So don't be too late
It's foolish to wait
Get your head straight

at the

Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment

Caution: Treatment may render patient profoundly deaf.

Man with roving ears

Return to Archive 2

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Nelson's Travel Kettle

Archeologists unearth historic appliance.

Promo Image

Mail Order Tattoos

Over 600 designs available by post

Promo Image

Vapid

The ultimate procrastination software for business

Promo Image

Arty Tomatoes

Guy Parker takes you for a ride

Promo Image

Bareknuckle Snooker

One of the biggest threats to law and order since badminton

Promo Image

An Appeal on Behalf of Mountain Rescue

Please give all you can to help mountains in need.

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

31 July 2019: Glen Twerk is not at Work

24 July 2019: Goths in Gardens

22 July 2019: Rent-A-Shoe