Proper doctors now know that irregular, misplaced and maladjusted ear alignment can cause delirium, panic attacks and seepage. And if left untreated, it can ultimately lead to permanent, irreversible mentalism.
Of course not. Well, now the Montreux Clinic for Aural Readjustment can help. Here, look at this:
See? Fortunately, Senior Consultant Roberto El Armitagio has developed a simple, effective and relatively safe method of ear balancing which can seriously improve your chances of staying on the right side of gaga. Using a combination of lead weights, pulleys and elastic webbing, his method can have your wonky flappers fixed up in no time*.
*approximately six to eight weeks, depending on the initial degree of displacement.
Caution: Treatment may render patient profoundly deaf.
Diagnose your problem with this online tool, you diseased wretch
A right load of dodgy villains, and no mistake
Try out the new Swearomatic
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