Legendary Clown Hitman Behind Bars

 

falling piano

Last week saw the conviction of Coco Corelli, the former circus clown whose secret life as an international hitman turned him into one of the world's most notorious criminals.

During a career spanning almost twenty years, Coco 'rubbed out' over two hundred victims, despatching each in his trademark comedy fashion. His favourite method was to drop a piano on them from an upstairs window, although he was not averse to improvising with banana skins or buckets of acid, cunningly disguised as custard.

Revolving bow tie

In 1992 he is rumoured to have despatched a high ranking member of the Indonesian government with a steel-tipped revolving bow tie, and a year later he assassinated an Australian businessman with a lethal jet of burning napalm from the flower in his lapel.

His final victim was fired from a cannon mounted on top of a London office block; his corpse landed in the middle of Oxford Street, without the aid of a safety net.

Escape by bicycle

Coco made his escape by bicycle, over a tightrope slung across to the adjacent building. Then, after floating down to street level by means of a colourfully decorated umbrella, he jumped in a waiting car to make his getaway.

However, after just three hundred yards the wheels collapsed, the doors flew off and the car came to a sudden halt with a series of comedy clanks, boings and whoops, allowing police to swoop in and make the arrest.

 

Return to Archive 2

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Cock

The magazine for young gentlemen

Promo Image

Excitement at discovery of Big-Eared Dinosaur

Yes sir, a good pair of ears is about the most useful thing that you could possibly have in the animal kingdom.

Promo Image

Strawberries

Is the strawberry a fruit of an animal?

Promo Image

Subterranean Elephants

Underground pachyderms

Promo Image

The Thoroughfare of Success

by Dick Smidgin (BA) - Motivational Keynote Speaker

Promo Image

Cold Fusion Sandwiches

A breakthrough for nuclear powered lunches

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

06 October 2019: The Brixham Trouser Museum

02 October 2019: Judge Told to Bugger Off

27 September 2019: Legless