Old Bill Productions presents

Ello Ello Ello What's All This Then?

An evening of musical miscellany, fantastical feats and various sundry entertainments

featuring

The Metropolitan Police Choir

and friends

Policeman

Fresh from their recent tour of the Indian sub-continent, the celebrated boys in blue from the Metropolitan Police Choir perform a selection of music hall favourites, including You're Nicked Mate, Constable Cockburns' Truncheon, and Don't Let a Kicking Get You Down, Mrs Brown.

also featuring

Escapeology! 

Sergeant Geoffrey Andrews is handcuffed, gagged and then tied up in a sack before the lads from 'C' division fall on him and give him a good kicking. Can he escape before he blacks out? Dare you watch!

Glamour!

WPC Doris Fowler from Acton performs the Dance of the Seven Veils - and at 18 stone, Doris can guarantee you get plenty of veil for your money. If unavailable, her part will be taken by Chief Inspector Kevin Dreyfuss of the West Midlands Serious Crime Squad.

Mystery!

Constable Darren Sneddhurst and his magic helmet - rub it and make a wish.

Violence!

Detectives Harper and Thornbury from the Flying Squad lay into various suspicious looking members of the audience with wild abandon, in their popular and fascinating display of self defence.  Is it really possible to break someone's upper arm with a cricket bat, and not leave a mark?  Why yes, and how!  They will also be demonstrating the correct way to fall down stairs.

Mime!

Superintendent Ricky Mitchell treats us to some classic point duty hand signals, including 'Traffic Approaching from the Front', 'Traffic Approaching from both Front and Behind' and 'Little Bunny Rabbit Hopping Through a Field'.  He may also be persuaded to perform 'Last Turkey in the Shop at Christmas' for an encore, as long as there are no ladies present.

 

A Splendid Time is Guaranteed For All

 

Throughout the performance, Constable Anthony Rickman will be moving throughout the auditorium, nicking various members of the public for possession.  Meanwhile, Assistant Chief Constable Taylor will be in the lobby, making balloon animals for the children out of old breathalysers.

Saturday 14th June

at the Bolton and District Veteran Pit Ponies' Hall

Matinee: 2.30pm                   Evening: 7.45pm

Return to Archive 2

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Kitchen Olympics

Going for gold with your toaster

Promo Image

The Devil's Arse on Tour

Big hole coming to your town.

Promo Image

Gerald de Scooter's Restaurant Guide

I've been stuffing myself silly in dozens of top class swanky restaurants.

Promo Image

Why your printer doesn't work

Most commercially available printers have an inbuilt fear of paper.

Promo Image

What is your tailbone for?

It's to stop your spine falling out.

Promo Image

Monsters

Attacks by monsters on the increase.

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

15 December 2017: The National Consumer Instructions Awards

14 December 2017: Gary the Builder

13 December 2017: Stuff Your Bleeding Job

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk