Dirty Electric

LeccyGen

Complaints to electricity companies have seen a sharp increase in recent months as more and more consumers have questioned the quality of supplies. Complaints have ranged from sluggish and unresponsive electrical items, to noisy cables, damaged fuse boxes and smelly sockets.

After receiving a significant volume of mail on the subject, the consumer organisation Huh? commissioned an investigation. Their report, based on evidence supplied by a forensic electrician, revealed that the electricity that we use at home might not be as pure as we have a right to expect. Samples of electricity were taken from eight separate locations and put through a number of laboratory tests. In summary, the main findings were:

A spokesman for the energy industry responded by saying that the report is 'bullshit' and that any problems that customers may have encountered were down to isolated attacks by squirrels. When asked to elaborate, he responded: "No, not squirrels. I meant those other things. You know, those things that flap about in water, with the big teeth and everything. They come out at night and nibble your cables. Yes, it was them."

A better spokesman for the energy industry has subsequently responded that the issues that were raised in the report were the result of faulty equipment at several main generating plants. He apologised for the inconvenience and he asked customers to bear with them while the problems were resolved. He also asked customers to disregard anything his colleague may have said about squirrels. The person in question has, apparently, just undergone something of a domestic difficulty at home, and has been granted compassionate leave until he can get himself sorted out.

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