Professor Ricky Stratocaster presents
Next week: Hawkwind
A ground-breaking 20 part series tracing the development of rock music by Ricky Stratocaster, renowned cheese pusher, 12-volt electric eel salesman and visiting Professor of Funk at the Kentucky Institute of Twangology.
Quality beards for busy professionals
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The sound of fury
"Going round the world by elastic..."
The XII Fish Olympiad
"Comedy is something that occurs at a sub-atomic level..."
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Thirteen-year-old Harry Kemp has never taken a bath in his whole life. Neither has he taken a shower or experienced the joys of a wet face cloth or a damp sponge. This is because Harry suffers from an extremely rare and potentially fatal condition - he is soluble in water.
Whilst an inability to bathe may not necessarily perturb the average teenage boy, Harry's condition has affected him in other ways. He is, for example, unable to do many of the things that lads of his age take for granted. Swimming is definitely out. And because he is unable to take showers, he is excused games at school and has to stay behind in the changing rooms with the fat lads who have forgotten their kit. Food and drink is also a problem for young Harry. A particularly juicy apple could, in principle, dissolve most of his face, and a glass of lemonade could literally eat him away from the inside.
There is very little hope for Harry, as the medical profession has no real practical experience of his problem. In fact, there is only one other case on record, and that ended in tragedy. In 1983, fellow sufferer Barry Hickman was out walking his dog when he was caught in a rainstorm. He tried to run for cover, but it was too late. To this day, his parents still keep him on the sideboard in a large plastic bucket.
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