WWW UBO
The University of the Bleeding Obvious

The UK's 7th funniest comedy site, probably

The Bleeding Obvious

You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

A Ding-Dong Duvets

Prof Reynaud pulls a fast one.

Neighbor Nightmares: The Movie

Two men, one drive, no prisoners.

So Special

Special beauty therapies for very special people.

A Very Local Paper

All the news that's local to Mr Henry Droop, Littlehampton.

Inside the Nun Factory

Where do nuns come from?

National Consumer Instructions Awards

Confusing, badly translated or just plain weird.

A Sustained Corporate Battering

We're concerned about Mr Pyle

The Square Root of Green

Fresh breakthrough in the science of colourology.

The Drivelling

Troubled Hammer film gets new release.

Fleegle

New number has consequences for the future of the universe. And bingo.

Persons Unknown

Mr Frampton is looking for somoeone to blame.

Cash for Pets

Trade in your unwanted dog.

Carter-Pierrepoint

Particulate mapping of key delivery nodes.

Rod Stewart and Enya's Rock 'n' Roll Mysteries

Solving crimes and fighting bad guys.

The Fish Olympics

Piscine polevaulting and haddock hurdles.

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New Deposits of Earwax Discovered

Significant quantities discovered in Mr Harry Frome

Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg

A bouncy little freak.

Nuclear Garden

Mr Sideboard is not happy about his exploding shed.

Mind Your Wind

Issued by the Ministry of Gas, 1942.

Motorcycle Display Teams

A bunch of blokes twatting about on bikes.

One-Sided Dice

One-Sided Dice for Fatalists.

Maisy Donnington's Office Safety

How to avoid the business end of a stapler.

Criminal Offence Self-Assessment Form

Tick the box if you're a wrong 'un.

Well Stuffed

Rogue taxidermist terrorises family pets.

St Tiddles in the Font

Parish newsletter.

It's a Fact

Fun facts from the Fact Master. Fank you.

Exploding Dinners

Put the fun back into dinner time.

Veg-U-Like

Tomatoes, cauliflower, brussel sprouts and peas - collect the whole set.

Operation Mutton

The millitary applications of sheep during WWII.

Dobbins of Doncaster

Get yourself a quality ass.

Award for Outstanding Celebrity

New awards for old has-beens

Fraudulent Bananas

Phony fruit.

Ralph Trundle: F1 Driver

We talk to a legend of the circuit

Centuri Space Supplies

Second hand space travel

The Language of Dance

Jazz hands and quickstep.

Buy Our Shampoo

Just buy it, ok.

Top Twenty Albums of the '70s

With Ricky Stratocaster, professor of twangology.

The Ultimate Procrastination Suite

Just been handed a project but can't be bothered to get started?

Some People You've Never Heard Of

Rancid Alan Grease and others.

A Fistful of Sausages

Brought to you by the meat marketing board.

Scrufty's Magic Juju Shoppe

A tale of oconker mismanagement.

The Prime Time Gameshow Generator

As used by TV executives worldwide.

In the market for a used policeman?

How to spot a dodgy copper.

Linguini!

Learn to speak fluent pasta.

An Old Fart Remembers

Do you remember Puthering Day?

How Long is a Piece of String?

The hit gameshow for all the family.

Christopher Columbus Discoveries Inc

If you've lost it, Chris will find it.

Is Your Tortoise Roadworthy?

Important news from the Ministry of Tortoises.

The Embarrasment of Nasal Hair Loss

Nostril wigs for all occasions

Petty Complaints Ombudsman

Giving your batshit insade complaints the respect they deserve.

Jazz Bomb

Raw unadulterated jazz.

Feathered Friends

Could you befriend a lonely parrot?

Have you got what it takes to stay in the country?

Be a great Briton. Or get out.

'Ello 'Ello 'Ello, What's All This Then?

Presenting The Metropolitan Police Choir.

Optimum Leaning Angles

How to look cool and interesting at an angle.

Product Recall

Some of our biscuits may contain canoes.

Skydiving

Skydiving without the unnecessary inconvenience of a parachute.

Extreme Dinosaurs

Skateboarding plesiosaurs, rollerblading raptors and a brontosaurus with a space hopper.

Not Funny

Prof Jez Moonbeam is laughable.

Gerald de Scooter's Restaurant Guide

Top notch swanky grub,

The Sandwich Advisor

Buying a sandwich is the third most stressful thing you can do.

Death By Pastry

A huge pie just hanging in space.

Caught by the Fuzz

New Recruitment Initiatives within the UK Police Force.

It's All in the Game

Classic board games from the past.

Brixham Trouser Museum

The UK 's premier ttouser experience.

Bristletech Industries

Do you need to grow a beard? Fast?

Barry the Road Safety Owl

No nonsense advice from a wise old bird

Something Happened on Tuesday

Probably, but we're not sure what.

Echo...Echo

Mr Clutterbuck has an echo... echo... echo.

Knitting in Colour

This day in 1956 saw the introduction of the first regular colour knitting patterns.

Forward to the '80s

How we'll all be travelling in the '80s.

Maxi-Lingual for Motorists

Curse fluently in over six languages.

Cheese Genome Finally Cracked!

Scientific proof of the existence of cheese.

Glen Twerk is not at Work

Caveat emptor, quo vadis.

Auras by Post?

Spruce up your chakras

Typists of the Kalahari

Shorthand tigers and double entry hippos.

An Open Letter to Shepton Bassett Park & Zoo

Sorry about your monkeys.

Quality Service at Pooley's

With our motoring correspondent, Martin Carburetor.

Doing the Lord's Work

Vicars on the job.

Cut Price Chips

You like chips? You like lots of chips?

The Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment

Get your wonky flappers straightened here

Piffin: A Mediterranean Paradise

Boasting Europe's biggest landfill.

Gin!

Gin, gin and more gin!

Tax, What Tax?

Sir John Wyndrell has never heard of his own company.

Welcome to Stick World

If you like sticks, well, we've got sticks.

Drive-by Wallpapering

Delinquent decorating.

The Delusion of J Henry Proudfoot

We meet an alien archaeologist.

Bing Crosby Boxing

Punching singers in the mouth.

The Aromatron

A whole new world of smells awaits you.

Dream Strides

Emergency trousers delivered direct to your anxiety nightmare.

Donald Fact's Fact Breakers

Remembering the classic '70s kids' show.

What's On in Lower Bumpstead

A packed programme, following that unfortunate incident with the fire eater.

Mr Bannerman's Evidence

Courtroom confusion.

Cosmos Rocks

In an infinite universe, there is no limit to human gullibility.

Tony Fold's Country Rambles

with guest rambler, Rory Triffic.

Lillywhite Lenny

On the importance of staying on the fecking horse.

Metal Detecting

German U-Boat Found on Devon Beach.

Evening Courses

Pseudo-academic subjects and frivolous arts and crafts courses.

The Wackiest Person in the UK

Alison Perkins is a mad as a fish.

British Gas

Sending foreign gas back home.

Doing Lengths

Mr Zing is swimming from pole to pole

Squeak Off

The big noise in footwear technology.

Munchy Burger

Can you cut the mustard as a top burger executive?

Teaching Carrots to Fly

The cutting edge of vegetable warfare.

Are you ready for Digital Ornithology?

Analogue birds are about to be switched off.

Tripping the Dark Fantastic

Hello darkness my old friend

Travel News

Cowboys on the line and bricked up tunnels,

Hear and Now

For collectors of rare and unusual sounds.

Butterfly

Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory

Selling Crap for Fun and Profit

The very best in useless tat.

Shepton Bassett - A Vision for the Future

Better late than never, our town plan.

Things Fall Over All the Time

Arthur's train only has wheels on one side.

Announcing the iSpong

Totally changing the way that people spong in the future.

Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery

Save cash - fix your own pets in the comfort of your own home.

Art

Selwyn Peach paints Elephants

Grampion Strangely's Mountain Rescue

These vulnderable mountains need your help.

Harry Carson is Watching You

It's a man's life as a modern store detective.

Help a Pirate in Need

These buccaneers desperately need your support.

Blood Donors Needed

Please bleed into the envelope provided.

Topping Talent

Featuring the Marvellous Undersea Kingdom of Colin Chocolate.

Astralguard

Insurance for Astral Travellers.

Traffic Watch

Heavy vibes are causing delays on the A52.

Cock

The magazine for young gentlemen.

The Discovery of Vitamin G

Great moments in science.

The Trivial Accident Group

Have you been slightly inconvenienced at work?

SciFi Fan Draws a Blank

Publisher leaves pages blank to cut costs.

No Offence

The Right Honourable David McGog unapologetically apologises.

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Wisbech

Theft of town exposed as hoax.

Stuff Your Bleeding Job

How to resign digracefully.

Old Clothes

Trading Standards warn against dangerously out of date clobber.

Dilbert's Donkey Solutions

Professional donkey storage.

Slugbond

Because an inflated slug is a happy slug.

Noblock and Kerfanderbuck

All smileytangled cockrock strop.

Shark Fishing

Fergus Pong has a shark problem.

The Kidderminster Lemon Exchange

Open now for faster, more reliable lemon exchange.

Cooker Island

Where the toasters roam free.

The Thoroughfare of Success

Dick Smidgen teaches you how to live your life but better.

World of Holes

Europe's leading stockist of quality holes.

Short and Curly

Unlocking the power of curly hair.

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Anti-Assertiveness Classes

Tone it down a bit.

Dougal Fridgely

Possible dwarf planet discovered in Tadcaster

Machiavelli Management Solutions

Discipline over distance.

The Wonderful World of Ants

Ants, ants, ants, ants!

Dark Batter

Is the missing mass in the Universe actually pastry?

Eazee-post

Taking the pain out of internet forums.

A Career in Printing

Why not specialise in the colour green?

Gentlemen's Etiquette

How to behave right proper and all that.

Sofas are From Mars...

The race to put the first sofa on Mars.

Introducing Flying Squirrels

Flying into the side of a house at forty knots...

Moroccan Dancing Moles

David Attenburger's Wonderful World of Nature.

Flexi Mortem

The only credit card you can use after death.

No More Glasses!

Fry sausages with just a wink of the eye.

Cake Rage

Pastry related assaults.

Global Moistening

Fear of a wet planet.

The Horse-Drawn Record Player

Equestrian technology.

Night of the Womble

Unpublished Womble book is dystopian nightmare.

Here Comes Barry Smith

Wise words from Shepton Bassett's number one coach driver.

Fatquake

A sad farewell to the world's fatest man.

Cold Fusion Sandwiches

A new era in atomic lunches.

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Stupid Stories

Some more stupid than others.

Barry Buys a Broom
Barry Buys a Broom

Barry Buys a Broom

Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor
Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor

Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor

Board Meeting
Board Meeting

Board Meeting

The Day Before Tomnorrow
The Day Before Tomnorrow

The Day Before Tomnorrow

Tall Story in a Short Glass
Tall Story in a Short Glass

Tall Story in a Short Glass

The Hedgehog King
The Hedgehog King

The Hedgehog King

The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man
The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man

The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man

Venus by Catapult
Venus by Catapult

Venus by Catapult

You Again
You Again

You Again

Death, Doom and Disaster
Death,Doom and Disaster

Death, Doom and Disaster

Goldilocks and the Free Bears
Goldilocks and the Free Bears

Goldilocks and the Free Bears

Sounds of Nature

Relax with chickens.

Bad Grandma Grammar

The inappropriate erection of words.

Pooley's Fire Distinguisher

Put paid to that firey bullshit.

We're No Longer Recruiting...

...but here are some of the unlucky applicants

Jars-4-u

Get your jars opened by a professional jar opener!

The Long Range Trouser Forecast

Overnight corduroys and occasional dungarees.

Cosmic Background Apathy

Will the universe keep expanding until it can't be bothered anymore?

Pretty Pictures

Better management through crayons.

Petunia Mulch

Plant psychologist.

Historic Knees

Knees of outstanding natural beauty.

International Arse Kicking

Bottom kicking for fun and profit.

Yeti Makeover

Mrs Stenchtrouser is planning an expedition.

Local Heroes

Outstanding achievements in the field of vandalism.

Fats Porker - Blues Whinger

In memory of Crappsville's finest son.

Your Staff Feedback, Your Way

Tired of hearing from ungrateful and misguided staff?

Space Things

The continuing adventures of Astro Cat.

The Alternative Olympics

Speed swingball and dodgem rallying.

Crystal N.R.G.

Harnessing the mystical bollocks of the universe.

Poot

Bigger, Better, Faster, Now!

So You've Got a New Manager?

How to stop it crapping in your in tray.

Out and About

The International Toast Museum and other attractions.

What Is It?

How what why when who where and when? Hello?

Ant Facts

with Donald Fact.

The Unusual Suspects

A message from Det. Insp. Barker Harris.

Barney's Magic Wonder Show

Belinda Sommers reviews the latest production.

Dolby Noise Reduction Sausages

Cut out the hiss next breakfast time.

Sugar Free Vegan Diesel

There's no butter in it either.

Comfy Dinners

A meal fit for a bed.

An Important Announcement about Fish

Clever trout and erudite pilcards.

It's a Fact!

More facts from the Funky Fact Feller.

Jaggedy

Mrs Lubricant wants a tidiery Britain.

Bare-knuckle Snooker

The biggest threat to law and order since badminton

Songs of Inspiration

Jesus Wants Me For His Darts Team.

Donald Fact's Fact Blast

It's a Fact, brought to you by Crunchy Flakes.

How To Be Sweary

with Professor Timothy Bottom.

Mr Gammon's Objections

Shepton Bassett Council Responds

Kicking Up a New Stink

Breakthrough leads to discovery of new smell.

Punctuation Crisis

We're running out of apostrophes.

The National Key Museum!

We've got keys!

Scoop!

Local frog trapped in drain.

10 Things You Never Knew About Frogs

Frogtastic Facts

The Devil's Arse On Tour

Famous cavern to tour country

Emergency Kebabs

When you absolutely positively need a kebab.

Marmaduke Irksome: A Retrospective

Talking crap in the House of Commons.

Mr & Mrs Pottle are Lost Again

Why can't these people just stay at home?

Oven Chimps

With none of the greasy aftertaste of regular monkeys.

Rationalising Britain's River Network

Britain's waterways need straightening,

Know Your Birds

Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Modern Day Bird Warfare

Puzzle Page!

With the amazing Mr Ooluv.

Pigchums

Meet likeminded pigs in your area!

Why Your Printer Doesn't Work

Most of these devices are allergic to paper.

Buttock Express

Your arse in our hands.

Maisy Donnington's Guide to Perking Yourself Up

Turn that frown upside down.

Diagnosis

Professor Wimple has a dirty mouth.

Empire of the Flowers

Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Operation Growbag.

Food Banking

MPs praise growing industry.

Shave the Moon

Our hairy satellite.

Arty Tomatoes

Guy Pakker's latest artistic venture.

World of the Wacky

With the Amazing Mr Ooluv

Staff Handbook

A handy guide to your new workplace.

How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

A great addition to any home.

Amateur Stamp Collector Collector

Want to know how much to pay for a Nigel Tomlinson?

Rob Hammond's Essential Guide to Buddhism

Rob Hammond will give you a spiritual kicking,

Baby's First Swear

Teach your little angel to swear like a trooper.

For Kids of All Ages...

Introducing our new range of children's books.

Digital Vicars

The secret ways that vicars communicate?

Twenty-First Century Scouting

A woggle for the new miilenium.

Wind Tunnel Technician

Pardon?

Man Blames ESA for Domestic Eclipse

Mr Cravat is not happy about where they park their stuff.

Brick II

Recycling the rubble.

Thinking of Buying an Octopus?

How to look after your squishy friend.

The Battersea Wigs Home

We never put a healthy wig down.

Jehovah's Cleaners

Because cleanliness is nexr to godliness.

Did Man Really Go To Belgium?

The dark truth behind the Belgian conspiracy

Pigmongering

Fergus Pong introduces us to this dying art.

Happismiles Emergency Clown Service

For when your regular clown lets you down.

Greygolds Residential Care Home

Where quality care costs extra.

New Rights for Fictional Characters

It's no longer ok to call Oliver Twist a twat.

Galactic Phrasebook

Learn to speak Venusian!

Professional Scarer

GRRRRRR! AAAAARRRRGH! GRRRR!

The World Bullshit Record

Team bonding, goal setting and table top brainstorming

Maisy Donnington's Cheese Etiquette Page

Your guide to the wonderful world of cheese.

Core Competencies in Office Furniture

Sign up for a certificate in filing cabinets.

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Something stupid