Fixing the Fan Belt on the Large Hadron Collider

In February 2013 CERN announced that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) would be turned off for a period of two years to allow repairs to be carried out. Some months earlier, boffins had noticed an unusual whining sound every time they fired up the accelerator but ignored it at first, thinking that it would wear itself out. However, now that the Higgs particle has been found, the LHC is standing idle while scientists invent a new particle for it to look for, and CERN decided to use the downtime to finally get it sorted.

The man they called in was Colin Wilbert of Wilbert's Automotive Repairs in Dagenham, and he's optimistic that he will soon have it up and running. "It's probably just the fan belt," he told us. "Or possibly the wheel bearings - which could be a bit tricky, 'cos they don't make 'em for this model any more. But that's the worst-case scenario. It could be something quite simple. When I was called out by Fermilab to investigate a suspicious knocking sound in the Tevatron it turned out to be a tube of Rolos that someone had left in the glove box."

The Annual 2018

COMING SOON: The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

The Museum of Found Noises

Parp Clang Twang Wubble-Wubble-Wubble-Wubble.

Promo Image

The Secret of Old Age

I've always thought that the best way of staying alive is 'not to die'.

Promo Image

Cracking the Cheese Genome

Final proof of the existence of cheese

Promo Image

Cold Fusion Sandwiches

A breakthrough for nuclear powered lunches

Promo Image

*@%£!

Can machines swear?

Promo Image

Professional Scarer

Interesting Jobs No 419

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...