The Sandwich: #122

The Sandwich

#122

Here is my dilemma: the guest house where my sandwich was staying is now a home for weird cats. However, because my spidey-sense is tingling, I feel sure that if only I could get inside I might find some clue as to where it has gone. Unfortunately, the man in charge has a ginger beard and is very cross, and won't let me in. Life is really much more complicated than it needs to be.

I'm not suggesting that it is the ginger beard that is making the man so cross, although I suppose it could be. I don't know about such things because I have never had a ginger beard. I did once have 1975 Datsun Cherry, but that is not the same thing at all, really. As far as I know, you cannot drive a ginger beard to the shops and buy four triple-A batteries, a bag of sprouts and a copy of Woman's Weekly. Not that I was ever able to do that with the Datsun Cherry, either, since it was already twenty-five years old by the time I got it, and the only thing that worked on it was the left indicator - which was pretty useless since the ruddy thing couldn't go anywhere. It just sat in my back garden, where moss grew over it. There was a badger called Mr Goebbels who lived in it for some time, but he came into some money and moved into a Mark V Ford Cortina down the road. Eventually I swapped it with my friend Kevin for some liquorice allsorts.

Why am I telling you this? I need to sit down and have a think about how I'm going to get into this cats' home. Go away and come back tomorrow.

 

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