Stood Up

An Ayrshire woman has successfully prosecuted her boyfriend for standing her up on a date. The woman, who can't be named for geographical reasons, invoked an ancient law which first appeared on the statute books in the time of James IV, and was originally intended to help landowners seek redress when their sheep wandered onto neighbouring estates.

The judge ruled that since the defendant - who cannot be named for metaphysical reasons - failed to turn up at Glen's All-You-Can-Eat Grease Bar in Kilmarnock at the prescribed time, he was in fact technically feral, meaning that the plaintiff is within her rights to assemble a hunting party and run him to ground. Alternatively, she has the option of appointing a court bailiff to take walking possession of the defendant until he buys her lunch.

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Tuesdays

Campaigning for the abolition of Tuesdays.

Promo Image

Young Waiter of the Year

A gobful of abuse from young Paul certainly strikes home.

Promo Image

Uncle Bertie's Meat Pies

Traditional pastry

Promo Image

Flyover

Woman demolished to make way for development.

Promo Image

Kicking up a New Stink

Quentin Tote discovers a new smell.

Promo Image

Fengami

The art of folding furniture

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...