New Year Honours

An unnamed source has leaked the contents of The Queen's New Year Honours List and there appear to be a few surprises in store, not least the news that Postman Pat is to be given an OBE. The annual list is part of the British honours system and announces the awards given out in the name of Her Majesty in recognition of services to country and community. Nominations usually come from a number of different sources, but this year Her Majesty has mixed things up a bit by drawing up the entire list herself and has included a Knighthood for Dangermouse, a CBE for Harry Potter and The Order of St John for Doctor Who. Womble fans will be pleased to learn that Great Uncle Bulgaria is set to become Lord Tidybag of Wimbledon, and there is a damehood in the works for Tinky Winky, founding member of the Teletubbies.

Not content with conferring honours on a large number of fictional characters, the Queen has also originated a number of new awards, including Master of the Jam Roly Poly, The Royal Order of the Rover's Return and The Bestest Award in the World Ever, awarded in recognition of ultimate selflessness and devotion in the line at Tesco's.