Job Title: Financial Director
About the Company
Frisbee Digitally Tracked Logistical Interface Solutions is a great place to work! The emphasis here is on fun, fun, fun. We don't take ourselves seriously and we don't expect anyone else to either.
Employees of Frisbee Digitally Tracked Logistical Interface Solutions enjoy a full package of staff activities including paintballing, crazy golf, greyhound racing, arts and crafts, and much, much more. After all that it's a wonder that there's any time left to get the job done. Actually, there usually isn't but we're progressive enough to realise that work shouldn't get in the way of team-building.
You will be responsible for overseeing all aspects of the company's financial mismanagement systems, tax aversion policies and ensuring adherence to the firm's programme of corporate fraud. Probably some other stuff as well. Sorry, this all sounds a bit heavy but in reality there's nothing to it. If you get stuck with anything just ask Malcom, he's been here ages.
Of course, we wouldn't expect you to get the hang of it right away. Our head of human resources still hasn't got a clue what he's doing after fourteen years. Mind you, the prick doesn't know his arse from his elbow most of the time, so that's no great surprise. I'm surprised he's still here, to be honest. There's not a week goes by that someone doesn't lock him in the stationery cupboard. Maybe he just likes the attention.
Anyway, you probably want to know what the hours are. Well, we're pretty easy. If you just turn up when you feel like it, no one's really going to mind. In fact, most of our senior staff 'work from home' if you see what I mean. Now I come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen our sales director other than at the Christmas party. I'm not even sure she still works here. Hey, maybe she's onto a good thing there? Not that I'm trying to put ideas into your head.
Skills and Experience
Ability to get distracted by YouTube videos
Willingness to bunk off early
Ability to turn up in fancy dress, amusing knitwear or silly party hats
Knowledge of popular films and TV shows
Proven ability in paintballing
Confident in the use of coloured marker pens, sticky tape and glitter
Willingness to spend extended periods tidying up and rearranging the furniture in order to avoid getting any work done
Related to a senior member of the management
Excellent Facebook skills
Familiarity with financial systems, legislation, procedures and responsibilities
Basically, we're looking for an unmotivated person who is happy to arse about all day, chat with colleagues and have a bit of a laugh. Candidates will be expected to give a brief presentation on what they think of the latest series of Game of Thrones.