Preliminary Report on Initial Studies Carried Out on the Structure and Surrounding Geology of Wensleydale Cheese Caverns

Survey carried out by Dr. D. F. Brumby, June 1972 as part of an extensive investigation into the geology of the British Isles, commissioned by the Mineral Sciences department of Brunel University


Well, both myself and my assistant, Dr Marian Startop, had a lovely day out at the Cheese Caverns.  It was a bright sunny day, and since Dr Startop had thoughtfully decided to bring some sandwiches we sat and had a bit of a picnic.  Afterwards I went back to the car to unpack my theodolite and tape measure, whilst Dr Startop went in search of somewhere selling ice creams.  By the time she returned with a couple of 99s I had already determined the existence of a sizeable subterranean shelf of Gruyere.  We settled down to consume our ice creams and enjoy the view, which was only slightly marred by the discovery of a half empty packet of condoms. 

Upon resuming our work, we were delighted to discover evidence of deep deposits of Stilton.  However, our spirits were soon dampened when we were attacked by a flock of pigeons, and I fear that it was only down to Dr Startop's admirable proficiency with a sharpened stick that we were able to escape relatively unscathed.  Following this unsettling incident we proposed to continue our survey elsewhere, and so we struck out to the west, where we soon discovered a large area of surface Cheddar.  Venturing further it became apparent that we had reached a ridge of solid granite, and since it was unlikely that we would make additional cheese discoveries, we decided to turn back.  However, panic struck when I realised that I had somehow mislaid my car keys.  Happily we chanced upon a man called Geoff who proved to be of great assistance in helping us make a thorough search of the area, and we soon located the missing keys lying in a clump of bracken.  All in all, we had rather a jolly time, and both Dr Startop and myself have expressed an interest in making a return visit.

Fig. 1Cross Section of Cheese Environs

Return to 'Wensleydale'

Return to Archive 2

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

buglers

Man bugled due to typing error.

Promo Image

Post Nuns

Nuns to be installed in post offices.

Promo Image

Anti-Assertiveness Classes

Tone it down a bit.

Promo Image

Venusian Elbow

Image of Elbow captured on Venus

Promo Image

Yeti Makeover

Mrs Stenchtrouser's quest to make the mythical beast presentable

Promo Image

The Aromatron

Patent stink technology

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

22 December 2017: How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

21 December 2017: Evening Classes at The University of the Bleeding Obvious

20 December 2017: A Ding-Dong over Duvets