Compression Trousers

A leading high street retailer has launched a new range of trousers for people whose legs are put under pressure by the stresses and strains of modern living.

"We recognise that people from all walks of life sometimes need a leg up," said Oliver Gusset, marketing director for the Discount Clobber chain of shops. "That's why we have taken great strides to create our new range of compression trousers."

The new trousers are designed to make legs feel less tired and achy, helping to reduce swelling in the ankles and stimulate blood flow by lightly compressing the wearer's legs. Compression trousers have previously been available on prescription and have played an important role in preventing deep vein thrombosis. However, this is the first time that they have been available over the counter - which, to some extent, has been down to problems with the prototype.

"Getting the degree of compression just right is crucial," Mr Gusset told us. "Too much and they could cut off your circulation completely; too little and they could fall down and let everyone see your pants. This is why they have previously only been available from your doctor, following a proper diagnosis and fitting. And even then, your doctor would only prescribe trousers when there was no suitable alternative, such as vacuum socks or suction pants."

The company has famously been plagued by a number of high-profile failures during the development period, culminating in the death of their chief test pilot after the seat of a pair of slacks blew out during a routine stress test. The tragedy was identified as a fault in the special heat resistant thread used for the stitching and measures were quickly put in place to prevent a recurrence.

Whether this will be enough to build the public's confidence in the product remains to be seen - especially since the new trousers will have to face some stiff competition from a rival company's new range of medicated knickers.

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Stick World

A great family day out

Promo Image

Belicose Pork

Feral Sausages and malignant pork pies.

Promo Image

Subterranean Elephants

Underground pachyderms

Promo Image

Why your printer doesn't work

Most commercially available printers have an inbuilt fear of paper.

Promo Image

World of Holes

We've got holes for every occasion

Promo Image

Nail-It

Your complete security solution

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...