Dream Strides

Every night millions of people experience anxiety dreams in which they find themselves at work, at school or in some other public place without their trousers. This is a deeply humiliating and damaging experience, but thankfully it is one that can be avoided.

Introducing

Dream Strides

The very best in somnolent trouser solutions

We are a team of fast response tailors who have set up an emergency trouser business in dreamland, just off Junction 5 of the M6. Wherever your embarrassing dream takes you, however excruciating your predicament, we can deliver a pair of emergency trousers to you in the rapid blink of an eye. Lucid dreamers will even be able to choose from a range of exciting styles and ethereal fabrics, all expertly fashioned from dreamdust, or something, and charged to your credit or debit card when you wake up.

Not convinced? Hey! Wake up! I said, not convinced? Well, listen to what one satisfied Kevin had to say.

Hi, my name's Kevin. The other night I dreamt I was at a meeting, addressing a group of very important potential clients from a major South-East Asian multinational - which is weird, because I'm a welder. Anyway, just as I was about to stand up to speak I noticed that I wasn't wearing any trousers. Crikey, not again, I thought! It's like our Sandra's wedding reception all over again.

Luckily I remembered the number for Dream Strides and quick as a flash they rushed over a pair of voluminous pink pinstripe pantaloons that turned about to be quite a talking point. Well, I went down a storm and, needless to say, we won the contract. Thanks Dream Strides! Incidentally, I noticed that my opposite number from South Korea was wearing a pair of glow-in-the-dark jodhpurs with red piping and a glittery motif on the hip - another triumph for Dream Strides?

Anyway, I must crack on - this axle mounting won't weld itself.

So don't get caught out. Sidestep the embarrassment of night-time trouser deprivation with Dream Strides

Dream Strides

The very best in spontaneous imaginary tailoring

 

The University of the Bleeding Obvious's Private Bits

Private Bits

72 pages of previously unseen material including Formula 1 Shopping Trolley Racing, Knee Operations for Fruit Flies, Quantum Farming, a visit to The Book Crevice, Gary the Builder, and The Affair of the Flat Vicar, a brand new adventure for the eminent Belgian dick, Anton La Cranque.

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Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

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