Legless

After being caught in a storm on Dartmoor yesterday, keen rambler Daisy Boot astounded rescue services by somehow managing to drag herself to safety with a broken leg.

"It wasn't my leg, " Daisy said, keen to correct any misunderstanding. "I found it. I'm quite anxious to reunite it with its owner, so if anyone recognises the sock, please do get in touch."

Bob Flapjack, senior ranger at Dartmoor National Park, explained that careless hikers are always leaving their body parts on the moors and so he encourages people to take a bin bag with them when they go out walking. "Technically, it's littering," he said, "and it could result in a hefty fine. Over the last few months we've had four elbows, a pair of knees and three buttocks handed in. It's the buttocks that are the real puzzle. I mean, three? What's going on there, then?"

Tree

"I once found an armpit by that tree. Messy buggers. Why can't people take their armpits home with them?"

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