#161

I have asked my elderly actors to give me a display of pickpocketry, in the hope that they can use their skills to make their way in the world. The first surprise I get is when they tell me they can't do anything without the music, so they give me some paper with dots on it. It may surprise you to learn that I actually can read music. Here, look at this:

That says "dot dot dot dot dot with squiggly bit dot."

See, easy. Dodger points to a piano in the corner of the room - which is handy. Now, as we established last time, I have taken piano lessons, which enable me to recognise a piano - I got B-minus - but I can't actually make music come out of it. I know you have to thump the keys in a particular order, but turning that into a tune is some kind of mystic voodoo, and I have deliberately avoided learning that skill so that I don't get burned as a witch.

Never mind. After a bit of rooting around, we find an old cassette tape and an old cassette player in an old cupboard, and when we combine them in a special way and press "Play" some old music comes out. That'll do, I think but then they demand lights and make-up and costumes and stuff. My head starts to buzz and I get cross, and I shout at them to just blinking well get on with it. So, we start the music and they blinking well get on with it.