The Sandwich: #161

The Sandwich


I have asked my elderly actors to give me a display of pickpocketry, in the hope that they can use their skills to make their way in the world. The first surprise I get is when they tell me they can't do anything without the music, so they give me some paper with dots on it. It may surprise you to learn that I actually can read music. Here, look at this:


That says "dot dot dot dot dot with squiggly bit dot."

See, easy. Dodger points to a piano in the corner of the room - which is handy. Now, as we established last time, I have taken piano lessons, which enable me to recognise a piano - I got B-minus - but I can't actually make music come out of it. I know you have to thump the keys in a particular order, but turning that into a tune is some kind of mystic voodoo, and I have deliberately avoided learning that skill so that I don't get burned as a witch.

Never mind. After a bit of rooting around, we find an old cassette tape and an old cassette player in an old cupboard, and when we combine them in a special way and press "Play" some old music comes out. That'll do, I think but then they demand lights and make-up and costumes and stuff. My head starts to buzz and I get cross, and I shout at them to just blinking well get on with it. So, we start the music and they blinking well get on with it.



Company salutes to maintain loyalty
New earwax deposits found.
Incosiderate spacemen
The contempt it deserves
Make mealtimes go with a bang.
Man held up by the colour blue
Now you too can learn to fly like a squirrel!
How to look trendy and windswept
Man Blames European Space Agency
Theft of town exposed as a hoax.


Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs


The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...