Worthless Life Assurance

with consumer champion Linda Pound

Are you paying too much for life assurance? Many different factors can affect the cost of your policy, including your health, where you live and whether you're into any risky sports, such as mountaineering, skiing or tiddlywinks. Well, now a new company is offering the opportunity to get life assurance based on the actual value of your life, and it could mean significant savings for some groups of people.

By the way, I didn't want to sound like I was equating tiddlywinks with skiing just then. I know that hurtling down a mountainside is really quite fraught with danger, whereas it's very rare to break your leg or get buried by an avalanche when you're playing tiddlywinks. But, that said, my nephew did get plinked just under the eye when I was playing with him the other day, and it did leave a mark. And I myself broke a nail, so it's not exactly risk free, is it?

Anyway, back to the insurance. The whole point of this new type of policy is that they assess how worthwhile your life actually is. So, if you have some high powered job, you're a leader of industry or you're on the verge of finding a cure for cancer, then clearly your life is worth quite a lot and consequently your premiums will be quite high. If, on the other hand, you just sit around all day with your hand down the front of your trousers, drinking beer and watching Cash in the Attic, then the chances are that a fiver will probably cover it.

Actually, I realise that I may have slightly overreacted vis-a-vis the whole tiddlywinks incident. Yes, it was really quite traumatic at the time because Jack, my nephew, was screaming and I flew into a bit of a panic. But, on reflection, I don't think that it was actually life-threatening. In fact, I can't imagine how you could kill someone with a tiddlywink. Dip it in poison, I suppose. Never going to happen, is it?

So there you go. Cheaper life assurance could soon be available for you, just as long as you're a useless layabout whose life isn't worth insuring in the first place. And also on the condition that you don't start taking an interest in dangerous sports such as mountaineering or skiing. You should be perfectly okay with tiddlywinks though.

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...



Promo Image

Belicose Pork

Feral Sausages and malignant pork pies.

Promo Image

Man Picks Fight with Pacific Ocean

Desmond Omelette has been charged with assaulting the Pacific Ocean.

Promo Image

Nasal Hair Loss

Eradicate the shame of thinning nose hair

Promo Image

Top 5 Interview Tips

Land your dream job

Promo Image

Whip-it-Round Delivery Services

Compensation! I'd feel exactly the same way in your situation...

Promo Image

Fourth Light

A fourth colour on traffic lights


Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs


Latest blog entries...