If you can read this, then you probably think you don't need glasses.

The Problem:

As we get older, some of us find that our eyesight changes. Small print becomes difficult to read and it gets harder to focus on distant objects. Opticians recommend that you get your eyes tested at least every six months, so that they can supply you with optical solutions to meet your exact needs.

Unfortunately there are some customers whose prescription remains stable and do not need to update their glasses so frequently. These people provide a serious challenge for the ophthalmic profession, and prevent us from tapping into a potentially lucrative revenue stream.

The solution:

Now at last a remarkable new innovation in ocular technology has provided the answer to obdurate customers - disposable glasses. These lightweight and stylish new spectacles come in a range of exciting new fashionable styles.

And the really good news! Well, the patent light-refracting biodegradable plastics used in the lenses are not only environmentally friendly, but are also designed to dissolve after 300 hours of use. That means you'll never be without a fresh pair of glasses, and we'll never be short of repeat business.

The science:

Visirays

Illustration of visirays entering the headspace via eye podules.

You've probably guessed that it's all based on the polarization of visirays. As we all learnt at school, we are able to see because our eyes shoot out special waves, visirays, which interfere with the objects we are looking at then return to our eyes and are translated into images.

These visirays pass harmlessly through regular lenses, but our new disposable glasses use a filter to slow down their transit. (The slight time lag to your vision is something that you will hardly notice.) This process generates heat, which gradually causes the lens to deteriorate - the more you look, the faster they dissolve.

 

So don't waste time struggling with your current perfectly adequate pair of glasses. We need your money right now.

Disposable Glasses

Isn't it about time you made us richer?

 
Peanuts You Don't Have To Be Mad To Work Here Machiavelli Management Solutions The Bleeding Obvious Exploding Dogs Baby's First Swear Scrufty's Magin Juju Shoppe Pigmongering Empire of the Flowers Scumm Credit Services Mrs Wilberforce and the River Persons Unknown
The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Excitement at discovery of Big-Eared Dinosaur

Yes sir, a good pair of ears is about the most useful thing that you could possibly have in the animal kingdom.

Promo Image

Standard British Nuns

A spotters guide.

Promo Image

Mail Order Tattoos

Over 600 designs available by post

Promo Image

Fun Run

Council sued under Trades Descriptions Act.

Promo Image

Jars-4-u

We open your jars for you!

Promo Image

Tripping the Dark Fantastic

Nobody's interested in 'darksabers.

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

19 July 2019: Sticking Flags in Stuff

18 July 2019: Because...Kittens

21 March 2019: Splosh